The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

The two pie charts present data about the participation rates of

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

and girls’ cultural and leisure activities.

Overall

, there are six

differnt acticities

Correct your spelling

different activities

of both

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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and only three of them are

same

Correct article usage

the same

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which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

computer games, reading and listening

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

. It is clear to

seen

Change the form of the verb

see

show examples

computer

Correct word choice

that computer

show examples

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the most popular

activity

of boys which has 34%.

Then

basketball is quite popular too, which

has

Verb problem

show examples

26%. The third popular

activity

of boys is soccer which

has

Verb problem

show examples

17%.

Also

, skateboarding and listening

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

are

similar

Change the adjective

similarly

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popular, that hold 11%

and10

Correct your spelling

and 10

%. The lack

attractivity

Change preposition

of attractivity

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is reading which only

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

2%.

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

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hand, the most popular

activity

of girls is dancing, which grad 27%. Reading is the second

popular

Correct quantifier usage

most popular

show examples

activity

which

hold

Change the verb form

holds

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21%.

Then

computer games and netball both attract 16% and 15% of girls. There

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

are

Verb problem

apply

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11% and 10 % of girls

Correct pronoun usage

who choose

show examples

choose

Correct pronoun usage

who choose

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the

last

two

acticities

Correct your spelling

activities

which are gymnastics and listening

Change preposition

to music

show examples

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

Submitted by fran60825 on Thu Mar 14 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activity with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

155 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.