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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations #point
Some people prefer working at
one
company
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
show examples
 life,
while
 others believe
that is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
better to have experience
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working in
a different organizations
Correct the article-noun agreement
different organizations
a different organization
show examples
. To have a job at
one
company
 gives stability and frees from worries about the future.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 changing
working
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
places
accelerate
Correct subject-verb agreement
accelerates
show examples
 salary
grows
Replace the word
growth
show examples
, and gives new
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
. In my opinion, it would be better to try and change
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. People who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 at
one
company
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decades
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that they have stability in income and steady career
grows
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
Such
 practice
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
show examples
 more common in
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
assian
Correct your spelling
Asian
 countries like South Korea or Japan, both those countries are highly capitalistic, and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 citizens praise more
consept
Correct your spelling
concept
 of working in
one
 organization. It is in fact beneficial for both employers and workers, because for a
company
 it is cheaper to have a
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
 employee with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience,
therefore
 they would try to provide
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
envirenment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for employees.
In contrast
, there is a
tottaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 opposite type of people, who prefer changing working
palces
Correct your spelling
places
.
That is
 more suitable for a
west
Replace the word
Western
show examples
 style of living, and especially for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new generations Y and Z. They prefer
swithching
Correct your spelling
switching
 organizations
hence
, it is faster to have an increase in salary, the
resasoon
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 for
this
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 fact that getting
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
 is harder than being hired for a new position.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 companies
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacant
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 to attract new
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
. Both opinions are right, and it depends
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 an individual what to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
.
Stable
Correct article usage
A stable
show examples
 job at
one
 organization gives safety and comfort,
while
 changing positions provides rapid
grows
Replace the word
growth
show examples
. In my opinion, it is
greate
Correct your spelling
great
 to have different work experiences.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your introduction and conclusion more clearly. Ensure your introduction outlines the discussion topics, and your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint and the discussed points succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples and data where possible. This will make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task prompt fully. Explicitly discuss the benefits and drawbacks of both viewpoints before giving your opinion. Ensure your opinion is well supported by the preceding arguments.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or argument, supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can hinder the clarity of your message. Consider revising sentences that feel awkward or unclear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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