IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

For centuries, important parts of education have remained, such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made us a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?

#centuries #parts #education #maths #advent #computers #people #computer #skills #skill #list
Historically,
literacy
 was considered
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major part of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 process. Since the development of the internet, many people believe that
computer
literacy
 must be added. I would share
this
 opinion as the modern world has evolved in
such
 a way that
computer
skills
 are the most important for
someones
Change to a genitive case
someone's
show examples
 education
as well as
work
. The first benefit that
computer
skills
 are required for is an education. Access to the internet gives
as
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 an opportunity to study online. many universities provide courses, which can be studied entirely through the internet.
For example
, The University of Aberdeen
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 established an online school called Rowetta College as a part of their University. In brief.
computer
literacy
 allows students to get a degree without leaving home. The second benefit is that having
computer
skills
 will allow people to
work
 remotely. There are many opportunities these days to
work
 online.
For instance
,
computer
 specialists
work
 from anywhere in the world and
consequently
 can decide, where
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they want to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
. In short,
computer
skills
 will allow expand their opportunities
as well as
 choose where they want to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
. In conclusion,
computer
skills
 create new possibilities for people in relation to education and
work
. I believe that
computer
literacy
 is going to be the most important skill in the future.
Submitted by juliabarkova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure a well-structured essay by having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Aim to make your main points follow logically from one another.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of transition words to improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Clearly address the essay prompt by taking a clear stance and thoroughly exploring your position with relevant, detailed examples.
task achievement
Expand on the benefits you’ve mentioned by providing more detailed examples or citing studies/reports to make your arguments more compelling.
general
Pay attention to minor errors in spelling, grammar, and usage to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: