IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently returned from an afternoon at your public library, and noticed various negative aspects that could be improved upon. Write a letter to the manager of the public library. In your letter: Describe the poor experience you had Include ideas for what the library should change Explain why you feel the library needs alteration Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: To Whom This May Concern,

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I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter regarding several negative things in the public
library
Use synonyms
 that I suspected.
Firstly
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, I noticed that the lighting at night in the
library
Use synonyms
 is inadequate making it difficult to do any activity in the
library
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. I have not come here in the evening for the past 3 weeks until now, I figured
this
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 just
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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 recently. Please keep your attention
to
Change preposition
on
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 the building maintenance
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 to the lighting, I recommend you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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change the lights to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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LED
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 since it is durable and environmentally friendly as well!
Secondly
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, it will be great if you tighten the regulations to keep down the noise. I was reading in the
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
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romm
Correct your spelling
room
 and a lot of
people
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 in the
library
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do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not care about their voice, I politely alerted them and they still did the same thing, it is highly distracting and not conducive to studying or reading.
Lately
Add a comma
Lately,
show examples
this
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 problem
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 more concerning, I personally feel like you need tough security to address
this
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 concern to the person right away. In order to keep
people
Use synonyms
 coming to
this
Linking Words
library
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, you should
do
Verb problem
make
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 some
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
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 in the regulations and
also
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 in maintenance. I'm afraid if everything has no advancement,
people
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 will stop coming to the
library
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.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
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techonolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 is growing rapidly,
people
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 just find resources
from
Change preposition
on
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 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 and they do not need
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library
Correct article usage
a library
show examples
 anymore. And
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
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 will have no appeal for
people
Use synonyms
 to come. I hope you understand my concerns and take what I write into consideration. Thank you for your attention! Sincerely,

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single, clear idea for improved readability and coherence. While your letter generally follows this principle, refining and focusing each paragraph's main point could further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Though your response overall addresses the task well, providing specific examples or personal experiences to support your suggestions could enhance the task achievement score. For instance, mentioning a specific incident due to poor lighting or disruptive noise can make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Maintaining a formal tone throughout the letter is crucial in writing to a manager. Your letter mostly achieves this, but be mindful of using contractions and informal language, as they are less suitable for formal letters. Opt for 'do not' instead of 'don't', 'it is' instead of 'it's', etc.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cleanliness
  • inadequate
  • conducive
  • soundproofing
  • ambiance
  • themed areas
  • maintenance
  • feedback sessions
  • customer service
  • state-of-the-art
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