recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

#australian #children #people #schools #responsibility #health #exercise #time

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Australian kids are becoming obese, and the question of whether academic institutes are completely responsible for their student well-being has sparked considerable debate.

While

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many champion

this

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, because kids spend most of their time in the classroom and daily exercise is supposed to be part of the

school

Use synonyms

curriculum, others argue against it.

However

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, I firmly agree with the former view. Analyzing these facts would give a comprehensive overview of

this

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subject matter.

Firstly

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, kids spend more than eighty per cent of their time inside the four walls of

school

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, which would ensure that any

sports

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routine implemented in

school

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would be effective.

For instance

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, I have always been overweight all my life, thanks to regular friendly football matches with other schools helping me keep fit, enabling me to escape obesity. Clearly,

this

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can only be achieved if schools take responsibility for exercise routines.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear that keeping Australian teens healthy is the sole responsibility of the

school

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Secondly

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, by law,

sports

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are part of the educational schedule,

hence

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, should be implemented in the same way other subjects are enforced.

For example

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, the results from the just recently completed capstone project

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

that most primary schools do not enforce

sports

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education weekly, which is mandated by

Enugu

Correct article usage

the Enugu

show examples

State

School

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Board. Obviously, Australian teens are becoming overweight

due to

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this

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Hence

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, one of the reasons why students have healthy lifestyles is the teacher's duty. In conclusion, the argument that academic institutions are solely responsible for their student's health and well-being has prompted a substantial dispute. Many advocate for

this

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since they spend the majority of their time in

school

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as well as

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sports

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being a mandatory course,

whereas

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others argue against

this

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idea. I completely support the former perspective. Examining

this

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factuality has proved that

school

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is responsible for the student's well-being.

Submitted by Eby on Thu Mar 14 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that your argument covers a broader perspective beyond personal experience and mentions. While personal experience can enrich your essay, it should not serve as the primary foundation of your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, research findings, or diverse examples to provide a balanced and comprehensive view on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Increase the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences. Use a variety of linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument, making the flow of ideas smoother and more logical.

Coherence and Cohesion

To better support your main points, include more detailed examples and evidence that apply to a wider audience. Developing your arguments with more depth will make your essay more persuasive and informative.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small. local business are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring death of the local communities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The gap below shows the production levels of the three main textile fibres in Australia since 1983 with a projection for 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releveant.

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?