recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Australian kids are becoming obese, and the question of whether academic institutes are completely responsible for their student well-being has sparked considerable debate.

While

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many champion

this

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, because kids spend most of their time in the classroom and daily exercise is supposed to be part of the

school

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curriculum, others argue against it.

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, I firmly agree with the former view. Analyzing these facts would give a comprehensive overview of

this

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subject matter.

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, kids spend more than eighty per cent of their time inside the four walls of

school

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, which would ensure that any

sports

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routine implemented in

school

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would be effective.

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, I have always been overweight all my life, thanks to regular friendly football matches with other schools helping me keep fit, enabling me to escape obesity. Clearly,

this

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can only be achieved if schools take responsibility for exercise routines.

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this

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makes it clear that keeping Australian teens healthy is the sole responsibility of the

school

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Secondly

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, by law,

sports

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are part of the educational schedule,

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, should be implemented in the same way other subjects are enforced.

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, the results from the just recently completed capstone project

shows

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show

show examples

that most primary schools do not enforce

sports

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education weekly, which is mandated by

Enugu

Correct article usage

the Enugu

show examples

State

School

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Board. Obviously, Australian teens are becoming overweight

due to

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this

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Hence

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, one of the reasons why students have healthy lifestyles is the teacher's duty. In conclusion, the argument that academic institutions are solely responsible for their student's health and well-being has prompted a substantial dispute. Many advocate for

this

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since they spend the majority of their time in

school

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as well as

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sports

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being a mandatory course,

whereas

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others argue against

this

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idea. I completely support the former perspective. Examining

this

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factuality has proved that

school

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is responsible for the student's well-being.

Eby

Mar 14, 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that your argument covers a broader perspective beyond personal experience and mentions. While personal experience can enrich your essay, it should not serve as the primary foundation of your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, research findings, or diverse examples to provide a balanced and comprehensive view on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Increase the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences. Use a variety of linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument, making the flow of ideas smoother and more logical.

Coherence and Cohesion

To better support your main points, include more detailed examples and evidence that apply to a wider audience. Developing your arguments with more depth will make your essay more persuasive and informative.

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

When it comes to workplaces, we normally think we have to go there to work. A lot of us commute to work every day. However, there are some people who work remotely at their homes or away from their offices. What do you think is the reason why some companies permit their employees to work this way?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?