recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

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Australian kids are becoming obese, and the question of whether academic institutes are completely responsible for their student well-being has sparked considerable debate.

While

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many champion

this

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, because kids spend most of their time in the classroom and daily exercise is supposed to be part of the

school

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curriculum, others argue against it.

However

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, I firmly agree with the former view. Analyzing these facts would give a comprehensive overview of

this

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subject matter.

Firstly

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, kids spend more than eighty per cent of their time inside the four walls of

school

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, which would ensure that any

sports

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routine implemented in

school

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would be effective.

For instance

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, I have always been overweight all my life, thanks to regular friendly football matches with other schools helping me keep fit, enabling me to escape obesity. Clearly,

this

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can only be achieved if schools take responsibility for exercise routines.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear that keeping Australian teens healthy is the sole responsibility of the

school

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Secondly

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, by law,

sports

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are part of the educational schedule,

hence

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, should be implemented in the same way other subjects are enforced.

For example

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, the results from the just recently completed capstone project

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

that most primary schools do not enforce

sports

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education weekly, which is mandated by

Enugu

Correct article usage

the Enugu

show examples

State

School

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Board. Obviously, Australian teens are becoming overweight

due to

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this

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Hence

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, one of the reasons why students have healthy lifestyles is the teacher's duty. In conclusion, the argument that academic institutions are solely responsible for their student's health and well-being has prompted a substantial dispute. Many advocate for

this

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since they spend the majority of their time in

school

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as well as

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sports

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being a mandatory course,

whereas

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others argue against

this

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idea. I completely support the former perspective. Examining

this

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factuality has proved that

school

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is responsible for the student's well-being.

Eby Thu Mar 14 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that your argument covers a broader perspective beyond personal experience and mentions. While personal experience can enrich your essay, it should not serve as the primary foundation of your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, research findings, or diverse examples to provide a balanced and comprehensive view on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Increase the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences. Use a variety of linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument, making the flow of ideas smoother and more logical.

Coherence and Cohesion

To better support your main points, include more detailed examples and evidence that apply to a wider audience. Developing your arguments with more depth will make your essay more persuasive and informative.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Many jobs used to be done at home by hand, but now a days an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an aparment?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where the did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people used to travel to see the differences from their home country. However, the sceneries in places around the world seem similar nowadays. What are the causes of these similarities? Do you think that the advantages of these similarities outweigh the disadvantages؟