IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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One of the most feared topics to think of is
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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 because it cannot be taken over, for that reason, many elder
people
Use synonyms
 end
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
 nursing
homes
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. Within these
care
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homes
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, some elderly individuals benefit from expert
care
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 and medical services,
while
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 others confront emotional challenges and detachment from
families
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.
This
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 duality forms a central theme for the discussion.
Care
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homes
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 provide professional
care
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 and medical attention that
are
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is
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 attached to residents receiving full-time monitoring, access to treatments,
controlled
Correct word choice
and controlled
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 medication and all
this
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essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
care
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 is provided by skilled staff which sometimes is not available
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 elder houses.
Moreover
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, placing elder
people
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 in nursing
homes
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 can supply relief for
families
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 improving their
care
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 conditions because many
families
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 find themselves unable to give the proper senior
requirement
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requirements
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 needed for several reasons.
In addition
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, these places count
with
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on
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 specialized equipment and trained personnel to offer a sense of safety and security for elder residents.
For example
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, elder
people
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 who suffer from
alzheimer
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Alzheimer
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 are always under controlled
caring
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care
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. Despite what was mentioned above, nursing
homes
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also
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 come with certain disadvantages. Elder
people
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 in these places may experience emotional
impact
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impacts
show examples
,
such
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 as loneliness. Being away from their familiar environment can lead to feelings like isolation and
depresion
Correct your spelling
depression
, affecting their
well being
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well-being
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.
Additionally
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, detachment from family is another significant disadvantage of
care
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homes
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, since the separation from their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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 ones can result in some cases
in
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of
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 mental
unestability
Correct your spelling
instability
 causing a sense of disconnection between their
families
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 and in the end feeling forgotten.
Furthermore
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, some residents in
care
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homes
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 may
also
Linking Words
experiment
Verb problem
experience
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 a loss of autonomy,
for example
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, having to adhere to the schedules and rules of the place, could reduce their sense of independence and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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control over their own lives.
To conclude
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,
while
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 nursing
homes
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 offer good medical attention and support for elder
people
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, their places
also
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 present problems which affect
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there as loneliness.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, engaging, and effectively summarize the key points of your discussion. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion which is crucial for wrapping up your thoughts.
logical structure
Work on developing a more logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. While your paragraphs contain relevant content, smoother transitions and clearer connections between them will enhance readability.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples or data. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
Address the task directly by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail. Make sure to also include a direct response to the prompt in your introduction to set a clear direction for your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim for clarity in your ideas and arguments by avoiding overly complex sentences or vague phrases. Simplicity and precision will make your essay more compelling and easier to understand.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more informative and persuasive.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
What to do next:
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