IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more qualified people are moving from poor countries to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine . some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people , rich countries are stealing from poor countries.others feel that this is the only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. discuss the both points of views.

#people #countries #vacancies #specialist #areas #medicine #movement #part #workers #world #points
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It is irrefutable that a large number of educated
people
Use synonyms
migrating
Wrong verb form
migrate
show examples
from developing
countries
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 to developed
nations
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 for employment in highly demanding
jobs
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. One school of thought believe that wealthy
countries
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 take away the talent of less privileged
nations
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however
Linking Words
, others argue that it is normal that
people
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 are moving
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 different
countries
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.
To begin
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 with, It cannot be denied that in foreign
countries
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people
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 get more job opportunities as compared to their home
countries
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therefore
Linking Words
 they move to explore their career.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In developing
countries
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 employees in technical, medical and engineering departments do not get salaries equivalent to their work
however
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 overseas these kinds of
jobs
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 are highly demanded with good salary packages.
Therefore
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, poor
countries
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 are losing their great minds
due to
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 a lack of future possibilities for their
jobs
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that migration of population from one country to another country is a general process because few
people
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 have the desire to travel to various
nations
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 not only for skilled
jobs
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 but
also
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 to collect information about different
countries
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.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 are more curious to gain knowledge of various cultures
as a result
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 they come to foreign
countries
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 to satisfy and develop social skills with the foreigners and become familiar with their culture. Another reason for the movement of
people
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 from poor to rich
countries
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 is the influence of social media which encourages them to leave their
countries
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 and come to
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
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. In conclusion, It can be analysed that
people
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 decided to move to rich
nations
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 because of their own necessities not under the effect of other
countries
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. Various reasons behind these trends like better wage rates, more chances of career settlement as well and increasing the horizon of their cultural and social skills.
Submitted by kkaur9391 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify your essay's structure by beginning with an engaging introduction that clearly outlines the essay's argument, followed by well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main point. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your points and restate your stance without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are fully supported with specific examples or evidence. This not only strengthens your argument but also makes your essay more engaging and informative.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both viewpoints as well as your own opinion if the question requires it. Providing clear, comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question will also improve your score.
task achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express ideas. This helps maintain the reader's interest and demonstrates your language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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