Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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I believe playing

computer

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games

Use synonyms

has both

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact and

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact on young

players

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. I somewhat disagree

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with

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the statement that only has undesirable effects of playing video

games

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. It is

common

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a common

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misconception that playing

computer

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games

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solely produces negative effects on children.

First,

Linking Words

the radiation from the

computer

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screen could damage the vision of the

players

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after a period of time . Second, there is

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limit to no physical activity

such

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as outdoor exercise

thus

Linking Words

will

Correct pronoun usage

which will

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lead to mental, emotional and physical health issues.

Lastly

Linking Words

, Digital

games

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are

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usually played alone and physical interaction between two persons even

they

Correct word choice

if they

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are socially communicating online is limited or nothing at all.

On the other hand

Linking Words

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are

show examples

also

Linking Words

beneficial to kids.

Players

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would develop better Manual dexterity. A hand skill that

grow

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grows

show examples

overtime

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over time

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. Another skill that can

be acquire

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be acquired

show examples

in playing online

games

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is coordination. Some

computer

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gamer

Fix the agreement mistake

gamers

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would perform

hand- eye

Correct your spelling

hand-eye

show examples

coordination better than others. Manual dexterity and

hand eye

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hand-eye

show examples

coordination are useful skills in the future.

Although

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, it has limited physical interaction among

individual

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individuals

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, still in interactive social communication among

players

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is noticeable.

This

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help

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helps

show examples

develop communication skills and confidence

especially

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, especially

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those introvert

players

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In summary, playing

computer

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games

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has both bad and good effects on children that should be

address

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addressed

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

jevilla1188Fri Mar 15 2024

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Task Achievement

It's essential to address the topic directly from the start. Your introduction should clearly state your stance on the issue, avoiding ambiguity. Though you have mentioned a balanced view, making your thesis statement stand out more directly would improve clarity.

Task Achievement

Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. While you have mentioned general benefits and drawbacks of playing computer games, incorporating real-life examples or citing studies would make your argument more persuasive and concrete.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words effectively can enhance the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand,' and 'In summary,' are good, but incorporating a wider variety of transitions would enhance readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and complexity. Varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary can help articulate your points more clearly. Watch for minor errors in tense, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

214 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
spatial awareness
hand-eye coordination
reaction times
social isolation
detrimental effects
behavior and attitude
multiplayer and online games
fostering
addiction
obesity
eyestrain
prolonged screen time

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Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Word Count

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Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this

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Because of modern technology, some people believe that it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe that handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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