Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree
I believe playing limit to no physical activity
computer
games
has both negative
impact and Correct article usage
a negative
positive
impact on young Correct article usage
a positive
players
. I somewhat disagree on
the statement that only has undesirable effects of playing video Change preposition
with
games
.
It is common
misconception that playing Add an article
a common
computer
games
solely produces negative effects on children. First,
the radiation from the computer
screen could damage the vision of the players
after a period of time . Second, there isAdd an article
a
such
as outdoor exercise thus
, will
lead to mental, emotional and physical health issues. Correct pronoun usage
which will
Lastly
, Digital games
is
usually played alone and physical interaction between two persons even Change the verb form
are
they
are socially communicating online is limited or nothing at all.
Correct word choice
if they
On the other hand
, computer
games
Add a missing verb
are
also
beneficial to kids. Players
would develop better Manual dexterity. A hand skill that grow
Change the verb form
grows
overtime
. Another skill that can Correct your spelling
over time
be acquire
in playing online Change the verb form
be acquired
games
is coordination. Some computer
gamer
would perform Fix the agreement mistake
gamers
hand- eye
coordination better than others. Manual dexterity and Correct your spelling
hand-eye
hand eye
coordination are useful skills in the future. Add a hyphen
hand-eye
Although
, it has limited physical interaction among individual
, still in interactive social communication among Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
players
is noticeable. This
help
develop communication skills and confidence Change the verb form
helps
especially
those introvert Add the comma(s)
, especially
players
In summary, playing computer
games
has both bad and good effects on children that should be address
Wrong verb form
addressed
of
.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by jevilla1188 on
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Task Achievement
It's essential to address the topic directly from the start. Your introduction should clearly state your stance on the issue, avoiding ambiguity. Though you have mentioned a balanced view, making your thesis statement stand out more directly would improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. While you have mentioned general benefits and drawbacks of playing computer games, incorporating real-life examples or citing studies would make your argument more persuasive and concrete.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words effectively can enhance the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand,' and 'In summary,' are good, but incorporating a wider variety of transitions would enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and complexity. Varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary can help articulate your points more clearly. Watch for minor errors in tense, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.