Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
there is a school of thought that famous
people
can attract public attention to problema
, Correct your spelling
problems
while
others opine that their involvement may undermine the gravity of these issue
. Change the determiner
this issue
these issues
This
essay will shed light on both viewpoints.
On one hand, generally speaking, high-profile celebrities endorsing international aid
organization
can significantly increase public awareness and support for global Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
issue
. Fix the agreement mistake
issues
Moreover
, famous voices calling people
to action have more power and influence than someone the public have
never heard of. Change the verb form
has
In other words
, a familiar voice is often more trustworthy and compelling. For example
, Quyen Linh is a famous actor in Vietnam, especially, he is well-known
Rephrase
especially well-known
by
his volunteer activities to Change preposition
for
hepl
families have difficult Correct your spelling
help
circumstance
. Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
Also
, those families are noticed and recieved
various support from Correct your spelling
receive
diffrent
sponsors and Correct your spelling
different
aid
organizations.
Coversely
, celebrities may cause some negative Correct your spelling
Conversely
effect
on these issues. Fix the agreement mistake
effects
People
like to get involve
in whatever their favourite actors and football stars are doing, so they may lose interest in a charity if famous Change the form of the verb
involved
people
stop their involvement. In addition
, some people
may put off the aid
organization if they do not like that particular famous person.
With all of the aforementioned theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evidence. I believe that although
celebrities sometimes may become a distraction to these international aid
organizations, it is utterly undeniable that their power in spreading the global problem is of great neccessity
.Correct your spelling
necessity
Submitted by lethithut123 on
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task achievement
Try to fully develop your ideas by expanding on the examples given. While Quyen Linh's involvement is mentioned, further elaboration on how his actions led to specific benefits or changes would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'problema' should be 'problems', 'hepl' should be 'help', and 'have difficult circumstance' should be corrected to 'in difficult circumstances'. Such inaccuracies can slightly distract from the coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that transitional phrases are used effectively between sections. While the essay is structured well, smoother transitions could enhance the flow of ideas for the reader.
task achievement
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points more clearly to reinforce your argument and ensure a robust ending to your essay. While your opinion is stated, summarizing key arguments from both sides before giving your opinion could make your conclusion more impactful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
