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Writing Samples
Band 5

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

#noise #places #cities
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Nowadays, the amount of
noise
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 has drastically
been
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apply
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increased in a lot of public places in cities.
This
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 essay will first suggest that
traffic
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noise
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 and external loud music are the biggest causes of
this
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 phenomenon and
then
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 argue that making
people
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 aware of
adverse
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the adverse
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 effects of
noise
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pollution
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 and steps to reduce it are the most viable solutions. To commence with, the major cause of the increased
noise
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pollution
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 is the
traffic
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. Big cities have numerous job opportunities and luxury residences, making it very attractive for
working
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the working
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 population.
Additionally
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, many of these
people
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 prefer to have their personal cars
instead
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 of using public transport which creates
the
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traffic
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 problems, leading to the
noise
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 of horns and vehicles.
Moreover
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, many youngsters like listening to loud music
while
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 walking, driving a car or riding a bicycle in
the
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apply
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public areas which substantially increases
the
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noise
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pollution
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.
However
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, these problems can be solved from the root if
people
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 start to understand the harmful effects of
noise
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pollution
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 on our environment.
Hence
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, spreading awareness about it is the most effective solution to
this
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 situation.
Moreover
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, individuals should
also
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 be taught different ways to tackle these problems. They should be encouraged not to use horns unless it is very urgent, and youngsters should be advised to use headphones
while
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 walking and riding a bicycle. By following these small steps,
noise
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pollution
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 can be reduced gradually.
To conclude
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, the detrimental effects of
noise
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pollution
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 on
environment
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the environment
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due to
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 the high amount of
traffic
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 and loud music can be solved by continuous
effort
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efforts
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of making
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to make
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people
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 aware of it and teaching them various steps to reduce it.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, incorporate more varied and detailed examples to support your arguments. While the general ideas are clear, specific instances or data could make your points more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Although the overall structure is good, using a wider range of linking words and phrases can help to make transitions between ideas more seamless and enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring opposing viewpoints or challenges to your proposed solutions in order to deepen your analysis. This will not only demonstrate critical thinking but also give your essay a more balanced perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Proofread your essay for slight grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Although minor, these can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • traffic congestion
  • infrastructure development
  • public announcement systems
  • street performances
  • noise regulations
  • soundproof materials
  • public transportation
  • designated quiet zones
  • green spaces
  • buffer zones
  • public awareness
  • community efforts
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