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There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

#noise #places #cities
Nowadays, the amount of
noise
 has drastically
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in a lot of public places in cities.
This
 essay will first suggest that
traffic
noise
 and external loud music are the biggest causes of
this
 phenomenon and
then
 argue that making
people
 aware of
adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
show examples
 effects of
noise
pollution
 and steps to reduce it are the most viable solutions. To commence with, the major cause of the increased
noise
pollution
 is the
traffic
. Big cities have numerous job opportunities and luxury residences, making it very attractive for
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 population.
Additionally
, many of these
people
 prefer to have their personal cars
instead
 of using public transport which creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 problems, leading to the
noise
 of horns and vehicles.
Moreover
, many youngsters like listening to loud music
while
 walking, driving a car or riding a bicycle in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas which substantially increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise
pollution
.
However
, these problems can be solved from the root if
people
 start to understand the harmful effects of
noise
pollution
 on our environment.
Hence
, spreading awareness about it is the most effective solution to
this
 situation.
Moreover
, individuals should
also
 be taught different ways to tackle these problems. They should be encouraged not to use horns unless it is very urgent, and youngsters should be advised to use headphones
while
 walking and riding a bicycle. By following these small steps,
noise
pollution
 can be reduced gradually.
To conclude
, the detrimental effects of
noise
pollution
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
due to
 the high amount of
traffic
 and loud music can be solved by continuous
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
of making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
people
 aware of it and teaching them various steps to reduce it.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, incorporate more varied and detailed examples to support your arguments. While the general ideas are clear, specific instances or data could make your points more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Although the overall structure is good, using a wider range of linking words and phrases can help to make transitions between ideas more seamless and enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring opposing viewpoints or challenges to your proposed solutions in order to deepen your analysis. This will not only demonstrate critical thinking but also give your essay a more balanced perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Proofread your essay for slight grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Although minor, these can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
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