IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
#unemployment #situation #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparision
The line chart describes information about the
percentage
 of unemployment rate in Australia including urban and rural sites during four quarters.
Overall
, it is noticeable that both
areas
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 some fluctuations. It was
also
 witnessed that
percentage
 unemployment rates in rural
areas
 reached highest at the beginning,
however
Add a comma
,
show examples
the number of both
areas
 were nearly similar
at the end
 of
quarter
Add an article
the quarter
show examples
. Looking in more detail,
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
percentage
 in rural locations stood and reached
highest
Correct pronoun usage
its highest
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 over 6%.
Then
 it was followed by a gradual drop until
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
quarter
 and
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 some fluctuations during
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
. After that, the amount of rate steadily decreased and
unchange
Correct your spelling
changed
 after the end of time. Meanwhile, urban
areas
begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2% and significantly rose in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
quarter
.
Next,
there was
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 fall and peaked
Change preposition
at a
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest
percentage
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
quarter
. After that, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continued
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dramatic growth and some fluctuations until
fourth
Add an article
the fourth
show examples
quarter
.
Then
, the
percentage
 of
enumployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
 rates in urban sites dramatically increased after
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
quarter
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, areas, quarter with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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