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Band 2.5

Many people have lost their job as a result of covid-19 pandemic. What can the government and individuals do to solve d problem.

#people #job #covid-19 #pandemic #government #individuals
A lot of people no
more
Rephrase
longer
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a job to do when
in
Change preposition
to
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the spread of the
Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
 19virus. The responsibility of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is to initiate
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 by organising all the
health
 professionals to bring it the
contro
Correct your spelling
control
. The
government
 has the
soul
Correct your spelling
sole
show examples
 power and resources to initiate all plans to bring
this
 calamity under control. In
a the
Choose an article
the
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 first place by organising all the
health
 professionals through
series
Correct article usage
a series
show examples
 of meetings and researching the possibility to find
vaccine
Correct article usage
a vaccine
show examples
 which would be used on the infected persons. If the the
government
couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
 get a vaccine in land within the country, it must reach out
help
Change preposition
for help
show examples
 outside the country, more importantly
world
Correct your spelling
World Health Organisation
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health
 organisation.
This
 organisation has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
joint
health
 professionals throughout the world, with the collective
join
Correct your spelling
joint
show examples
 efforts from
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 strong enough to be able to solve the problems. In
this
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 finding has to be help from other organisations living in the country to support the
government
.
That is
 one of the responsibilities of an entity with the society in which it operates. In a nutshell, is the responsibility of the
government
 to mobilise the resources necessary to fight
this
 pandemic. The people or citizens are there to support the necessary initiative taken by the
government
.
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully understand and respond to all parts of the task. Your essay does not clearly address how individuals can contribute to solving the issues caused by COVID-19 layoffs, focusing instead on the government's role in controlling the pandemic rather than unemployment.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points. End with a concise conclusion that summarizes your argument and reaffirms your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main point. Use connective words ('however', 'in addition', 'furthermore') to help guide the reader through your argument and make your reasoning easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to support your main points. This helps illustrate your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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