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Band 5

You are going on a short training course at a college in New Zealand. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter, explain your situation describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it

#course #college #zealand #accommodation #officer #situation
Dear sir, I would like to write a concern of worrying prior the training course in your country(NZ)because
i
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I
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 do not have any place to live. My country agent told me that he forgot to organise the flat though
i
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I
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 have to organise
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by
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 myself. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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really apologies for the late notice and
i
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I
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 know
i
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I
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 do not have any choice
to
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but to
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 wait
although
,
i
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I
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 would not waste any more time
to wait
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waiting
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 until next
week
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week's
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 flight.
Therefore
, I would like to ask if you could
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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please help me to get a single apartment.
Firt
Correct your spelling
First
able
Correct word choice
apply
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, I
do
Verb problem
am
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 not interested in sharing the flat with a mate
due to
 the fact that I do not drink and smoke plus I need to focus on my studies. I
appreciates
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appreciate
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 your time and I hope you may understand my
situations
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situation
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. Please update me with any
further
 information in
regards
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regard
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 to the apartment. yours sincerely, Toto
Submitted by riemwatokateti on

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greeting and closing
Ensure the letter starts with a proper greeting to the accommodation officer, such as 'Dear Accommodation Officer' to make it more formal and appropriate.
logical structure
Try to organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each dealing with a separate aspect of your request. For example, one paragraph for explaining your situation, another for describing the accommodation you require, and a final one for mentioning when you will need it.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling, grammar, and punctuation. For example, 'a concern of worrying' could be rephrased as 'a concerning situation,' and 'Firt able' should be 'Firstly.' Correct usage of English enhances the clarity of your message and makes it more professional.
complete response
In describing the accommodation you require, provide more details such as the type of facilities you need, your budget, or any preferences regarding location to help the officer understand your needs better.
suitable writing tone
Although expressing urgency is understandable, maintaining a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter is crucial. Phrases like 'I am really apologies' should be corrected to 'I sincerely apologize'. Also, ensure your letter ends with a formal closing such as 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name.
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