You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,

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Dear Annie, I hope you're doing well . I'm just writing to give you my advice that you should get a
job
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instead
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of joining college . I noticed that you've
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an interest
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interest
Wrong verb form
interested
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in
hair
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colors
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colours
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and want to pursue
degree
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a degree
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in
this
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field but I'm doing
part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
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job
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in the saloon where a number of professionals do
hair
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colors
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colours
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for clients without any college completion.
Also
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, the University is very expensive
in
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at
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current
Correct article usage
the current
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time. So, it would be better to get the
job
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directly. You should get the
job
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.
This
Linking Words
could enhance your skills
such
Linking Words
as intellect and provide
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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to make better connections at
workplace
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the workplace
a workplace
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which could
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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as future references for better
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Also
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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employers look for one - or two-year experience in order to hire someone ,so without any doubt, gaining experience as
beginner
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a beginner
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is really important for better
salryy
Correct your spelling
salary
jobs. There are
number
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a number
the number
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of jobs available in the market for your interest which need zero experience
such
Linking Words
as receptionist positions in the saloon. As you have knowledge of
hair
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dye products
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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would be beneficial to you
by joining
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to join
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as
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Hair
Correct article usage
a Hair
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Stylist Assistant . Please write me back as soon as possible. Best wishes, Roop.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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Logical Structure
To improve the logical structure of your letter, consider presenting your arguments in a more structured manner. Begin with a brief introduction explaining your stance, followed by paragraphs each dedicated to a specific reason or piece of advice you're offering. Finally, conclude with a summary or a closing thought to reinforce your advice.
Greeting and Closing
Although your greeting and closing are appropriately used, refining the closing could make your letter feel more complete. Consider adding a sentence that encapsulates your main advice or a personal note wishing your friend the best in their decision-making process.
Single Idea per Paragraph
You have structured your letter well by dedicating each paragraph to a single idea. To further improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases can help connect your ideas more coherently.
Complete Response
Your response to the task is commendable as you cover all required aspects. For enhancement, provide more detailed examples or personal experiences that support your advice. This makes your advice more convincing and rooted in reality.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is suitable and reflective of writing to a friend. To further refine it, consider using a more conversational tone while maintaining politeness and respect. This can make your advice come across more personally.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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