You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,
Dear Annie,
I hope you're doing well . I'm just writing to give you my advice that you should get a
job
instead
of joining college .
I noticed that you've Add an article
an interest
interest
in Wrong verb form
interested
hair
colors
and want to pursue Change the spelling
colours
degree
in Add an article
a degree
this
field but I'm doing part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
job
in the saloon where a number of professionals do hair
colors
for clients without any college completion. Change the spelling
colours
Also
, the University is very expensive in
Change preposition
at
current
time. So, it would be better to get the Correct article usage
the current
job
directly.
You should get the job
. This
could enhance your skills such
as intellect and provide opportunity
to make better connections at Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
workplace
which could Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
use
as future references for better Wrong verb form
be used
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Also
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
employers look for one - or two-year experience in order to hire someone ,so without any doubt, gaining experience as Correct article usage
apply
beginner
is really important for better Add an article
a beginner
salryy
jobs.
There are Correct your spelling
salary
number
of jobs available in the market for your interest which need zero experience Change the article
a number
the number
such
as receptionist positions in the saloon. As you have knowledge of hair
dye products which
would be beneficial to you Correct pronoun usage
it
by joining
as Change preposition
to join
Hair
Stylist Assistant .
Please write me back as soon as possible.
Best wishes,
Roop.Correct article usage
a Hair
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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Logical Structure
To improve the logical structure of your letter, consider presenting your arguments in a more structured manner. Begin with a brief introduction explaining your stance, followed by paragraphs each dedicated to a specific reason or piece of advice you're offering. Finally, conclude with a summary or a closing thought to reinforce your advice.
Greeting and Closing
Although your greeting and closing are appropriately used, refining the closing could make your letter feel more complete. Consider adding a sentence that encapsulates your main advice or a personal note wishing your friend the best in their decision-making process.
Single Idea per Paragraph
You have structured your letter well by dedicating each paragraph to a single idea. To further improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases can help connect your ideas more coherently.
Complete Response
Your response to the task is commendable as you cover all required aspects. For enhancement, provide more detailed examples or personal experiences that support your advice. This makes your advice more convincing and rooted in reality.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is suitable and reflective of writing to a friend. To further refine it, consider using a more conversational tone while maintaining politeness and respect. This can make your advice come across more personally.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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