Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter:  Say why you would like to go on the trip  Suggest what you could do to help during the trip  Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to show my gratitude

toward

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for

show examples

the opportunity provided by you that parents can come with the school

trip

. I want to express my deep interest

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show examples

this

trip

because it will be a new experience for me . I want to go on

this

trip

because I will get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of time to spend with my children and I can take care of them during

this

trip

Secondly

to explore

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exploring

show examples

different

country

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countries

show examples

would be magnificent ,

this

will help me to connect with different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

religion

Fix the agreement mistake

religions

show examples

and beliefs

also

I will learn

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

from

this

trip

which I can implement in my life . I have great experience in coordination and organizing things and

also

better communication added

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

attitude

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show examples

my personality

this

way , I am able to help

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

staff to save their time and energy. I

also

want to know about the exact date of

this

trip

and the price of the tickets. I am looking forward to hearing from you Yours faithfully, Tom

Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on Sat Mar 16 2024

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logical structure

Provide a clearer structure by introducing paragraphs for each main point you wish to discuss. This helps in maintaining a logical flow and makes your letter easier to follow.

logical structure

Utilize linking words and transitions more effectively to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

greeting and closing

Ensure your letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Starting with a greeting, introducing your purpose in the first paragraph, developing your points in the body, and finishing with a closing statement.

single idea per paragraph

Focus on one main idea per paragraph to ensure clarity and cohesion. This will make your letter more organized and impactful.

complete response

Fully address all aspects of the task. Make sure to answer all questions and cover all points requested in the prompt to fully satisfy the task requirement.

suitable writing tone

Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout the letter. Being mindful of the formal context, consider adjusting the tone to be more consistently formal or polite as required.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

178 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enthusiastic
valuable experience
expertise
educational objectives
supervision
ensure safety
bonding
workshops
logistics
coordinates
travel arrangements
clear communication
support
responsibilities
manage schedules

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think visual images, such as photographs and videos, can most accurately inform people about a news story. Others believe they are not reliable sources of information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.