You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #addresses

Dear Rahul, I hope you are doing well. I got your letter regarding

an advice

Remove the article

advice

a piece of advice

a bit of advice

show examples

wheather

Correct your spelling

whether

to go to

college

or try to get a

job

Firstly

, I would suggest you

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

try getting a

job

because you won't be able to enjoy going to

college

. If you got an admission

Change preposition

show examples

college

far from home, the travel will be hectic for you and

according to

my experience

job

is better than

college

Correct article usage

a college

show examples

Furthermore

, a

job

will teach you many

role based

Add a hyphen

role-based

show examples

learnings and you will definitely get practical knowledge on the things which you can't gain from

college

. Every company provides training to their employees, so they will definitely train you to do things and you will start earning earlier.

Lastly

, I think you should get a

job

which is a combination of your

I.T

Correct your spelling

field and Customer service like Technical advisor or something like that.

This

will teach you professional communication skills and many other things. Please let me know if you'd like to chat

further

this

topic. Yours faithfully, Tirth

Submitted by tirththakkar23 on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task response score, ensure that you expand on each point you make. For example, when suggesting not going to college due to travel being hectic, provide more details or personal anecdotes to make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

For a better coherence and cohesion score, work on linking your ideas more smoothly. You could use transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In addition to' when moving from one paragraph to another. This will help your letter flow better and appear more structured.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to enhance your logical structure score. Each paragraph should introduce and expand on new information. This keeps the reader engaged and emphasizes your points more effectively.

task achievement

Consider revisiting the letter's tone to ensure it remains consistently informal or formal throughout, as this impacts the suitable writing tone score. Your letter mostly maintains a friendly tone which is good, but ensure this consistency throughout.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

176 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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