The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981-2007.

The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981-2007.
The line graph illustrates information about three
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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of jam
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
including
margarine
, low fat & reduced spreads and butter in Asian countries from 1981 to 2007.
Overall
, it can be seen that both
margarine
and butter
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
experienced some fluctuations
while
low fat & reduced spreads passed
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
trend. Both of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
jams
Change noun form
jams'
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consumption decreased
at the
end
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. Looking in more detail, butter consumption began at 140
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
in 1981.
Then
, the
number
significantly increased in 1986 and
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
by a dramatic drop during five
years
. From 1991 to 1996, there was a gradual fall for five
years
.
Lastly
, the
number
of consumption remained to
dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
steadily until the
end
of time. In the meantime, the sum of
margarine
stood at almost 100 grams
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1981. There was
also
downward
Add an article
a downward
the downward
show examples
trend for ten
years
. After that, the
number
unchanged to 100 grams from 1991 to 1996.
Next,
margarine
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
gradually dropped
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2001 and
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
by a steady decrease until the
end
of
frame
Add an article
the frame
show examples
time. Meanwhile, People did not consume
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
& reduced spreads until 1996.
At
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
year, the
number
of
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
& reduced spreads dramatically grew for five
years
.
Finally
, in 2001, there was a gradual fall until the
end
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words margarine, end, number, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • pattern
  • popularity
  • significant
  • steady increase/decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • outstrip
  • surpass
  • dip
  • sales
  • culinary preferences
  • market share
  • per capita
  • demographics
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