The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #summarise #features #comparisons

The given charts depict the number of evening

course

participants

at an adult education centre in 2009 with gender-wise and age-wise distribution.

Firstly

, the bar chart shows that there are four different

courses

that

participants

can

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in - drama, painting, sculpture and language.

Overall

, language seems to be the most popular

course

with 60 enrollments

while

sculpture is the least popular

course

with just 15 enrollments. The second and third most chosen

courses

are painting and drama respectively.

Secondly

, most

courses

see a higher number of women

participants

than men except

Change preposition

for

show examples

the sculpture

course

. Language

courses

have the highest strength in female participation with 40 women.

On the other hand

, painting seems to be the most preferred by the male population with 35 men.

Overall

courses

have a higher female participation with a total of 75 women

in contrast

to just 65 men.

Thirdly

, when one factors in the age of the

participants

it is seen that a whopping 42% of the total

participants

are aged 50 and over.

Next,

the second position is taken by people between ages 40-49 with 26%. The

courses

see very few numbers of people from teens and children.

Overall

, the age and popularity of

courses

are directly proportional.

Submitted by insighttribez on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words course, participants, courses with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

206 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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