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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The given charts depict the number of evening
course
Use synonyms
participants
Use synonyms
 at an adult education centre in 2009 with gender-wise and age-wise distribution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the bar chart shows that there are four different
courses
Use synonyms
 that
participants
Use synonyms
 can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in - drama, painting, sculpture and language.
Overall
Linking Words
, language seems to be the most popular
course
Use synonyms
 with 60 enrollments
while
Linking Words
 sculpture is the least popular
course
Use synonyms
 with just 15 enrollments. The second and third most chosen
courses
Use synonyms
 are painting and drama respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most
courses
Use synonyms
 see a higher number of women
participants
Use synonyms
 than men except
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the sculpture
course
Use synonyms
. Language
courses
Use synonyms
 have the highest strength in female participation with 40 women.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, painting seems to be the most preferred by the male population with 35 men.
Overall
Linking Words
,
courses
Use synonyms
 have a higher female participation with a total of 75 women
in contrast
Linking Words
 to just 65 men.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, when one factors in the age of the
participants
Use synonyms
 it is seen that a whopping 42% of the total
participants
Use synonyms
 are aged 50 and over.
Next,
Linking Words
the second position is taken by people between ages 40-49 with 26%. The
courses
Use synonyms
 see very few numbers of people from teens and children.
Overall
Linking Words
, the age and popularity of
courses
Use synonyms
 are directly proportional.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words course, participants, courses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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