Providing a national system in a country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourages people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on a country’s financial resources. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In developed countries, unemployed persons receive grants from the
government
for their up-keep
. Correct your spelling
upkeep
This
act is controversial as some people
argue that it encourages citizens to become lazy therefore
puting unnesessary
pressure on the country's budget. In Correct your spelling
putting unnecessary
this
essay, i
will discuss and give reasons why Change the capitalization
I
i
agree Change the capitalization
I
to
Change preposition
with
this
view.
I believe that people
should be awarded
for their hard work not for sitting on their hands. Every abled Verb problem
rewarded
bobied
human being should work and earn a living out of their sweat. Correct your spelling
bodied
For
example
the Add a comma
example,
government
should provide opportunities for its communities to do business or find jobs to suport
their families rather than paying Correct your spelling
support
people
to sleep. This
will actually lessen the burden on the government
financial coffers.
Change noun form
government's
However
, the state should fund the disabled and the old age because they can not work for themselves or for their families due to
their handycap
. Correct your spelling
handicap
For
example
when someone gets old he loses his job because the employer needs energetic workers. Add a comma
example,
However
after losing their jobs these people
still need to pay bills and buy food, so i
think Change the capitalization
I
this
is the point where the government
needs to step in and assist them financially.
In conclusion, it is unwise for the law-makers to give its
unemployed Correct pronoun usage
their
citizen
financial support because it will cause the Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
people
to become lazy and rely on handouts from the government
therefore
creating a strain on its financial resources.Submitted by sisalt100 on
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance. While your introduction briefly mentions your view, making it more explicit can engage the reader immediately.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence and make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more details or context. Specific examples help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
To enhance your argument's persuasiveness, consider acknowledging counter-arguments and refuting them. It shows critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by thoroughly proofreading your essay. This impacts the clarity of your ideas and the overall professionalism of your writing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite