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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society, they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#availability #entertainment #video #games #devices #individuals #society
The proliferation of handheld entertainment
devices
, particularly video games, has sparked a debate regarding their impact on individuals and society.
While
 some argue that these
devices
 have detrimental ramifications, others contend that they provide valuable benefits.
This
 essay will delve into both perspectives and assert that judicious usage is crucial to mitigating potential drawbacks. Proponents of handheld entertainment laud its ability to combat tedium and offer respite from monotonous routines,
such
 as lengthy commutes.
Moreover
, the gaming industry contributes substantially to economic growth, generating substantial revenue and fostering job creation. These
devices
also
 cater to the innate human desire for intellectual stimulation and recreation, potentially enhancing
overall
 well-being.
Conversely
, there are legitimate apprehensions regarding the potential pitfalls of excessive or inappropriate usage. Permitting unrestrained access to games during school hours could impede academic progress.
Furthermore
, gaming addiction poses a significant risk, leading to disrupted sleep patterns and impaired productivity.
Consequently
, establishing boundaries and exercising self-discipline regarding the duration and contexts of gaming is paramount. In summation,
while
 handheld entertainment
devices
 offer convenience and enjoyment, moderation and responsible usage are imperative to circumvent potential detriments. By implementing reasonable limits and ensuring appropriate contexts, individuals and society can reap the rewards of
this
 technology
while
 minimizing its adverse effects.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
Consider including more specific examples to illustrate your main points. This could involve real-world scenarios, scientific studies, or statistical data that concretely demonstrate the impacts of video game usage on individuals and society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases that effectively connect ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the readability and flow of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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