The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society, they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The proliferation of handheld entertainment

devices

, particularly video games, has sparked a debate regarding their impact on individuals and society.

While

some argue that these

devices

have detrimental ramifications, others contend that they provide valuable benefits.

This

essay will delve into both perspectives and assert that judicious usage is crucial to mitigating potential drawbacks. Proponents of handheld entertainment laud its ability to combat tedium and offer respite from monotonous routines,

such

as lengthy commutes.

Moreover

, the gaming industry contributes substantially to economic growth, generating substantial revenue and fostering job creation. These

devices

also

cater to the innate human desire for intellectual stimulation and recreation, potentially enhancing

overall

well-being.

Conversely

, there are legitimate apprehensions regarding the potential pitfalls of excessive or inappropriate usage. Permitting unrestrained access to games during school hours could impede academic progress.

Furthermore

, gaming addiction poses a significant risk, leading to disrupted sleep patterns and impaired productivity.

Consequently

, establishing boundaries and exercising self-discipline regarding the duration and contexts of gaming is paramount. In summation,

while

handheld entertainment

devices

offer convenience and enjoyment, moderation and responsible usage are imperative to circumvent potential detriments. By implementing reasonable limits and ensuring appropriate contexts, individuals and society can reap the rewards of

this

technology

while

minimizing its adverse effects.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider including more specific examples to illustrate your main points. This could involve real-world scenarios, scientific studies, or statistical data that concretely demonstrate the impacts of video game usage on individuals and society.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases that effectively connect ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the readability and flow of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

207 words

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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society, they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.