IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy – Request a refund – Make arrangements to return the damaged item

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Customer service representative, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction about a phone I purchased recently through your website. I received my order yesterday and it was in a horrible condition.
Firstly
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, I was
dissapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 to see that the packaging was damaged. And when I opened the box, the phone screen
also
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 had several cracks on it. I believe
this
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 was damaged during shipping.
However
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, it is not in a condition to use.
Therefore
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, I would like to request a refund for
this
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 item as I am not interested
to proceed
Change preposition
in proceeding
show examples
 with an exchange.Please kindly send me the details regarding the return procedure and arrange shipment for the return.
Thankyou
Correct your spelling
Thank you
show examples

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greeting and closing
Ensure your letter starts with a proper greeting targeted to the recipient. Instead of 'Customer service representative,' using 'Dear Sir/Madam,' or 'To whom it may concern,' adds a formal touch.
greeting and closing
End your letter with a formal closing sentence and your name. You could use 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your name if you started with 'Dear Sir/Madam'. This makes your letter more professional.
complete response
Your letter successfully explains why you are unhappy, requests a refund, and makes arrangements to return the damaged item. However, to further enhance task achievement, you could provide specific details, such as the order number and purchase date.
logical structure
Provide a clear structure by starting with an introduction, followed by a paragraph for each of the points you're addressing (unhappiness, refund request, returning the item), and conclude with a closing statement. This would enhance logical flow.
suitable writing tone
While the tone is mostly suitable, make sure to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid any casual language, and carefully proofread for spelling errors ('dissapointed' should be 'disappointed'), as this maintains professionalism.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph generally sticks to a single idea which is good for coherence. Enhance cohesion by linking ideas between paragraphs more smoothly with transition words or phrases, such as 'Given these issues,' or 'Consequently,'.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • product quality
  • malfunction
  • defective
  • warranty
  • receipt
  • customer service
  • return policy
  • refund
  • exchange
  • inconvenience
  • consumer rights
  • acknowledgment
  • courier
  • postage
  • compensation
  • defective
  • resolution
  • turnaround time
  • escalation
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