People are having more and more sugar drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?
Now a days
, most Correct the word
Nowadays
of
Change preposition
apply
people
use
sugar
beverages more than ever. The main reason of
Change preposition
for
this
situation that
the main part Add a missing verb
is that
of
Change preposition
apply
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
supply
by factories which Change the verb form
to be supplied
using
Wrong verb form
use
sugar
in their product and people
habitated
to Add a missing verb
are habitated
use
them Wrong verb form
using
in
Change preposition
for
long
life, they could Add an article
a long
change
our food chain.
On the other hand
, sugar
hide
in our Change the verb form
hides
drinks
and we use
the product without any attention. most of us believe that this
type of drink have
Change the verb form
has
Correct article usage
a posetive
posetive
on our body, Correct your spelling
positive
due
to Correct word choice
and due
this
reason most group
Change to a plural noun
groups
of
our society encounter by Change preposition
in
overwieght
and obesity. Focus on the menu of beverages which Correct your spelling
overweight
use
during Wrong verb form
are used
a
day Correct article usage
the
show
that all of us Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
using
Wrong verb form
use
sugar
in many taype
and we do not understand Correct your spelling
ways
sweety
Correct your spelling
sweet
tast
. Because our body Correct your spelling
taste
test
get
the habit with Change the verb form
gets
this
situation. Food chain
have important roles in our health.
In fact, to solve Fix the agreement mistake
chains
this
problem the governments should authorize new rules to restrict factories to use
less sugar
or change
their product. There for
, social media can Correct your spelling
Therefore
rase
awareness of individuals in Correct your spelling
raise
the
society to Correct article usage
apply
change
their drinks
type. Namely, Replace the word
drinking
incourage
them to Correct your spelling
encourage
use
water insted
of Correct your spelling
instead
fuzzy
Correct your spelling
fizzy
drinks
or use
less sugar
in their coffee.
In conclusion, most part
of our society do not Change to a plural noun
parts
have
any attention to Verb problem
pay
their
menu that Change the word
the
use
in daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
habit
. So, the government have to Fix the agreement mistake
habits
rase
the information of Correct your spelling
raise
people
about foods or drinks
which use
.
The
Correct article usage
People
people
should pay attention to their health and body and measure the sugar
that they use
to change
their habit to lose
using less Verb problem
of
sugar
than ever.Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on
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Coherence & Cohesion
You should focus on developing a clearer and more logical structure for your essay. Start with a strong introduction, followed by well-organized paragraphs, each addressing separate points, and finish with a comprehensive conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by explanations or examples. Use linking words to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Fully address both parts of the task by discussing the reasons for the increase in sugar drink consumption and proposing a variety of detailed solutions. Make sure each part is given equal attention and development.
Task Achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
Language
To improve accuracy and range, pay careful attention to grammar, spelling, and vocabulary choice. Avoid overly general statements and aim for precision in your language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.