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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #division #household #tasks #gender #britain #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates how many tourists visited specific Carabeen
Island
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
 experienced a decrease in some years, both graphs significantly increased from 2010 to 2017. In the first year about 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 out of 1
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
staid
Correct your spelling
stayed
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 (0.75
million
Use synonyms
) visited from
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
.
Visitors
Use synonyms
 from
cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 increased to 0.5
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 remained steady in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year. The
number
Use synonyms
 of people who visited from
island
Use synonyms
 dramatically increased to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 among 2
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in two
next
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 and after that remained stable from 2013 to 2015. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 after a dropped in 2016, escalated to 1.5 in 2017.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the
visitors
Use synonyms
 of
cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 experienced a fall in 2012, climbed moderately for the rest of five years,
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
million
Use synonyms
 of 3.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2017. The
number
Use synonyms
 of total visitor
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 from 1
to3.5
Correct your spelling
to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 without any
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 trend in
this
Linking Words
 seven-year period.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, number, visitors, cruise, ship, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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