IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #band #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The
line
graph
 and
pie
chart
 below display sort of information on crime in the
UK
 for the
last
 year.
Overall
, similarities
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
this
line
graph
 and
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
that
Add a missing verb
are that
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two consist of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 crime in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. But in
pie
chart
 shows only
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
percentage
 of
UK
 prisons, meanwhile
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
graph
 illustrates the
percentage
 of all convictions in the
UK
 by age and gender. There are percentages of
gender
Add an article
the gender
show examples
 of prison inmates in the
UK
 in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
chart
 .The 96% of prisoners it is a male and only 4% it is a female. In
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 we have
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of all convictions and
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of
offender
Add an article
the offender
show examples
. As we can see, males have more convictions than females. In
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 category
Add a comma
,
show examples
the highest index of the indicator is shown by 16% 20
years
 old. But to 60
years
 old, the index decreases. In
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
category
Add a comma
category,
show examples
 the lowest
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
percentage
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
0% 60
years
 old. The highest index is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% 20
years
 old.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, graph, pie, chart, uk, percentage, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
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