In some counties, some people believe having children and marriage is seen as the most important in their life. The other believe having a good job and salary is viewed as success. Discussing both and give your opinion.

In some countries, getting married and having a child is the most important thing in their
life
. Compared with other countries, getting a good job and a high salary is more successful. In my opinion, a good job is more necessary rather than marriage. In the beginning, in some cultures, having a kid is viewed as a component of finding a
completed
Replace the word
complete
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family, especially in East Asia cultures. Teaching one's kids, educating them and paying their
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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to school seems a part of a person’s
life
. They are spending most of their time earning money in order to bring up
children
. Sometimes, their economy is not allowed to pay that fee.
Thus
, the environment
Change preposition
in that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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a kid grows up is of lower quality. In my opinion, I consider teens have the right that grow up in a good condition to become a better person, if parents don’t have that ability to achieve it. So, do not get a birth.
For example
, in Chinese villages, each family have five
children
or more. All of them live in poor and don’t have enough money to go to school.
As a result
, the kids would continually live in the village or get low salaries in the future.
On the other hand
, getting a good career, for personal, or their families in the future, is a good beginning, because money is the basis foundation of one’s
life
, whether insurance of living or the education of
children
.
Therefore
, they have the powerful right, to
choose
Add the particle
choose to
show examples
continue their
life
without
children
or to give birth. In conclusion, a good career is an insurance of one’s
life
indeed, whether for themselves or their teens
Submitted by dayowong095 on

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complete response
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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