IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given diagrams demonstrate the life phases of a species of large fish named
salmon
. The first illustration shows the fish's reproduction process
along with
 the destinations where they belong in different cycles of their lives. The other one gives information about the three main physical
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 of
salmon
.
Firstly
,
salmon
 eggs under the reeds live in
upstream
Add an article
the upstream
an upstream
show examples
 river which has
leaisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
pleasure
 flowing for approximately 5-6 months until they turn into 'fry'. It is the first level of
salmon
's physical growth which is 3-8 long.
Then
, the fry will live in a lower river with quick movements for about 4 years. After that, they shift into smolt which has
12
Correct article usage
a 12
show examples
-15 cm length.
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
show examples
 they move into the open sea and reside there for nearly 5 years and
converts
Correct subject-verb agreement
convert
show examples
 into adult
salmon
 which is 70 - 76 cm long.
Finally
, the mature
salmon
 spawns its egg and the life rotation of it restarts again.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater streams
  • small pebbles
  • reeds
  • alevin
  • yolk sac
  • nourishment
  • fry
  • grow stronger
  • grow larger
  • parr
  • defined markings
  • estuaries
  • smolt
  • adapt to saltwater
  • ocean
  • full size
  • sexual maturity
  • spawn
  • life cycle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: