IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the total revenue of three pizza places in Vietnam. The figures were taken in 2017. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the total revenue of three pizza places in Vietnam. The figures were taken in 2017. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#revenue #three #pizza #places #vietnam #figures #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The line chart below gives information about the number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
revenue in Vietnam with three
pizza
 brands by dola
millions
 in
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 2017.
It is clear that
whereas
 the
domino
Correct your spelling
Domino Pizza
show examples
pizza
 and the
pizza
company
 had the same pattern,
pizza hut
Correct your spelling
Pizza Hut
show examples
was fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 constantly in the
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
. In January, the first month of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
,
domino
Correct your spelling
Domino Pizza
show examples
pizza
 and the
pizza
company
 started at about 32
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in the next month, both two places dropped by 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. After the
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
, there was a soar quickly, the profit of
domino
Correct your spelling
Domino Pizza
show examples
pizza
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rocketed from 12 to 25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
pizza
company
' increase was between 10 and 17
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
respectiely
Correct your spelling
respectively
 in June.
Domino
pizza
Capitalize word
Pizza
show examples
 peaked at 41
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
July-which was more than the
pizza
company
 with 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
then
,
while
Correct article usage
the domino
show examples
domino
Capitalize word
Domino
show examples
 brand
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
subtaintial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 in 4 final months, the
pizza
company
 rose gradually with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total similar
domino
Capitalize word
Domino
show examples
 at 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dola
Correct your spelling
dollars
. In
pizza hut
Correct your spelling
Pizza Hut
show examples
, there was a
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 in 3 months, before the
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 from June to September, it showed a
samll
Correct your spelling
small
 rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Following
3
Correct article usage
the 3
show examples
last
 months of the year, the total was stable to vacillate at 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 dola.
Submitted by hoangminhnhat150206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, millions, domino, company with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: