IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

#friend #suggestions #friends #clubs #school #activities #advice
Dear Ahmad, I have come to know through your letter that you recently changed your
school
. But after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 days you realized that you are not feeling comfortable in
this
 institution. Dear,
i
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I
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 think it’s quite normal you shouldn’t be
worry
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worried
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 about
because
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it because
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 it takes time
adjusting
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to adjust
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in
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to
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new
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the new
a new
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 atmosphere. I know you are an intelligent person and
having
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have
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attractive
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an attractive
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 personality, so
i
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I
show examples
 suggest some
tip
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tips
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 which may help you to
adjusting
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adjust
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in
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to
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the
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apply
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school
. First of
all
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all,
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 you have to make new friends.
Introduce
Wrong verb form
Introducing
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 yourself to your
class mates
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classmates
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 exchanging notes and
provide
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providing
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 helping materials is
a
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the
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 best way to develop friendships between class fellows.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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 you should join
sports
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the sports
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 and art clubs
of
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at
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 your
school
. And take part
all
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in all
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 the activities of
this
 club
according to
 your choice, I hope
this
 will boost your confidence and hidden skills.
Last
 but not least you should be
a
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apply
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punctate and prepare assignments
in
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on
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 time. All
teachers
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the teachers
show examples
 of your
school
 are respectable
for
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to
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 you so
your
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you
show examples
 behave respectfully and be humble to your teachers. I hope these tips help you
adjusting
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adjust
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in
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. Best regards Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure you cover all aspects of the task equally. While you offered good advice on making friends and participating in activities, consider expanding on each point with more detail or examples to fully address the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words effectively can help achieve this. Additionally, try organizing your ideas more clearly by dedicating specific paragraphs to different aspects of the suggested advice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to punctuation, specifically the use of commas and periods, to improve readability and the overall flow of your letter.
Lexical Resource
Consider expanding your vocabulary to include a wider range of expressions and more precise words. This can enhance the clarity of your message and leave a stronger impression on the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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