IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now "one big traffic jam" How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage p

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #governments #p
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In
modern
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the modern
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 era ,
usage
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the usage
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 of
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car
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cars
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 has skyrocketed.
People
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 having
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a car
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car
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cars
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 has increased drastically in the span of thirty years and it
lead
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has led
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 to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 problem of big
traffic
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 jams in numerous
metero
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metro
meters
 cities all over the world. If questioned, I think it is true to a large extent. My position is
further
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 elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and
explainations
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explanations
as well as
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 some precautions that the authorities can take to
dismotivate
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demotivate
 individuals from driving their own
cars
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. Discussing the
truthness
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truth
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 of the statement, the first
arguement
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argument
 regarding
this
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 is that
nowdays
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nowadays
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pollution
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 increased. By having numerous
car
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pollution
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 like air
pollution
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 and
noise
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pollution
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 had
rose
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risen
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 as
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car
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the car
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 uses fuel which
lead
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leads
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 to
pollute
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polluting
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 the air and the loud
noise
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 from the hones lead to
noise
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pollution
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.
Besides
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this
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 , there is
also
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rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in accidents.
For instance
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, the increase
of
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in
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cars
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to major
traffic
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 jams in cities or outside of it and many accidents are caused
due to
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 it .
Hence
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 , these arguments
states
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state
show examples
 that there is an increase in
number
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a number
the number
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 of
cars
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.
However
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, the government can take some actions against
people
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 to make
they
Correct word choice
sure they
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 don't use
cars
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 more often .
To begin
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 with , they should strictly implement some rules and regulations regarding
cars
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 .
Such
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 as if anyone is found to be breaking the
traffic
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 rules
as well as
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 using
cars
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 so much ,
then
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 a heavy penalty should be fine .
Further
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, the authorities should raise awareness of using public transport by making public
transports
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transport
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such
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 as buses and trains more frequent and
rise
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
 their numbers. In
this
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 way , the government can discourage folks from using their
cars
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 .
To sum up
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 , it is true that the number of
cars
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 significantly in the
last
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 thirty years and
this
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cause
Wrong verb form
has caused
show examples
 major
traffic
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 jams in many towns all over the world. It is clearly seen by the increase in air and
noise
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pollution
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as well as
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rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 in more frequent accidents that many
people
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 have
cars
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 .
Hence
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 , the government should implement strict rules
such
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 as
penalty
Add an article
the penalty
a penalty
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 for too much use of
cars
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 and raise awareness of using public
transports
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transport
show examples
 will make
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use their
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 less.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the prompt, providing a balanced perspective with relevant, specific examples. Your response should fully explore the implications of increased car ownership and propose a range of measures to address this issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations.
Language
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement. Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and punctuation.
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