People are having more and more sugar drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?
Nowadays, humanity
have
Change the verb form
has
new
Correct article usage
a new
addication
in the face of Correct your spelling
addiction
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
sugar drinks
a sugar drink
sugar
drinks
. For that
are several reasons, the main one is the fact that Change preposition
That
people
may have to start obsession
Correct article usage
an obsession
over
Change preposition
with
sugar
, becauses
it Correct your spelling
because
is
get energy and serotonin boost. First of all, Verb problem
gives
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should take Correct your spelling
government
under
control Change preposition
apply
drink
production and the amount of Change preposition
of drink
sugar
that is
added. However
, it is not enough, and there should be campaigns with social advertisement
which is dedicated to Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
motivate
Change the verb form
motivating
people
drink
less Add the particle
to drink
sugar
drinks
.
Overall
, the main reason for drinking a lot of sugar
is an
effect that it Correct article usage
the
causes
Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
on
a
brain. Our brain Correct article usage
the
abnormaly
reacts to Correct your spelling
abnormally
abnormality
a
Remove the article
sugar
a lump of sugar
a cube of sugar
sugar
, because our bodies are not used to it, therefore
do not know how to prevent consequences
of Correct article usage
the consequences
over consuming
Correct your spelling
overconsuming
of
Change preposition
apply
sugar
. There are a lot of people
that
are suffering because of obesity Correct pronoun usage
who
that
acquired Correct word choice
and
hence
of a sugar
addiction.
There are some solutions to help people
overcome this
obsession. As the first step, Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should force companies to control the level of Correct your spelling
government
sugar
in their products. Furthermore
, at the same time
Add a comma
time,
people
should want to deacrese
the consumption of products that have Correct your spelling
decrease
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
effect
on their bodies. Fix the agreement mistake
effects
For instance
, there may be a social media trend to drink more water as a challenge, it will motivate people
to carry more about their health.
In conclusion, overall
, sugar
is harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
Change preposition
to
for
human bodies, it may cause a Change preposition
to
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
to consume
Change preposition
of consuming
sugar
products on a daily basis. Therfore
, society should control Correct your spelling
Therefore
drinks
production and motivate individuals to refuse Fix the agreement mistake
drink
from
sugary Change preposition
apply
drinks
.Submitted by dyussenovaanel on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, ensure that you clearly address all parts of the question directly and comprehensively. Begin with a direct statement related to the topic and develop your argument systematically. Use more specific examples to illustrate your points and make sure you cover both the reasons for the increased consumption of sugary drinks and potential solutions thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on improving the clarity and logical flow of your ideas to enhance Coherence and Cohesion. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered on a single main idea. Start with a topic sentence that introduces the idea, followed by supporting sentences. Make transitions between paragraphs smoother by using linking words or phrases. Additionally, consider revising for grammatical errors and ensure the correct usage of article 'a' and plural forms, as these small errors can disrupt the flow and clarity of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
