some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behavior #host #country #culture #differences

The popularity of online shopping has quickly increased

for

Change preposition

show examples

last

Correct article usage

the last

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few years. Almost everyone prefers to

Verb problem

make

show examples

purchases online nowadays. There are a lot of shops on the Internet where you have an opportunity to buy anything you want. They make our lives much easier and it is a big advantage, but sometimes we can have problems with delivery or with sellers and it is a disadvantage.

To begin

with,

due-to

Correct your spelling

due to

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online shopping, people started to spend less time on the streets, which is why they communicate rarely with each other and

also

their lifestyle

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

inactivity

Replace the word

inactive

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. A bunch of problems with careless delivery and low-quality items make us feel discomfort.

Additionally

, there are a lot of scammers on the Internet who steal money from citizens and some teenagers have an addiction

from

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online shopping. They spend too much money on useless and pathetic items.

On the other hand

, people should not search

anything

Change preposition

for anything

show examples

through the whole city anymore and now we have much more free time which we can spend with our family, friends, relatives or with ourselves. Online platforms are very useful for the old generation because it is very hard for them to go to the market to buy medicine and food. You may even make your own shop on the Internet, it will be cheaper than renting a building and it may bring

Change preposition

in a

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bunch of money. The main advantages of online shops are a wide assortment, where everyone can find any product, furniture and even clothes (and it is a piece of cake to use.) In conclusion, I would like to say that buying things online has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Everybody makes his own decision about online shops, but I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by dulskywork on Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Focus on directly and fully addressing the essay prompt. You've discussed online shopping, which is not specifically related to the original topic about cultural practices in visiting countries. Ensure your essay matches the given prompt to improve your Task Achievement score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct idea. A strong essay typically includes an introduction, body paragraphs for each view or aspect you're discussing, and a conclusion. This will enhance the logical flow and structure of your essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your points more fully with relevant examples or explanations. While you've mentioned some advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, more specific examples or personal insights related to the topic of cultural practices when visiting other countries would strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly and show the relationships between them. This helps your reader follow your argument more easily and enhances the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

harmonious interaction
cultural misunderstandings
immersive
cultural identity
inclusivity
cultural exchange
mutual respect
fostering understanding
vibrant
respective cultures
cultural appreciation
cultural enrichment

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some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Using computers and mobile phones in communication -> negative impact on reading and writing among young people, agree or disagree.

Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never changer it later. To what extent do you agree with tis view. support your opinion with relevant examples.

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks of holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?