some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The popularity of online shopping has quickly increased
for
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in
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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few years. Almost everyone prefers to
do
Verb problem
make
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purchases online nowadays. There are a lot of shops on the Internet where you have an opportunity to buy anything you want. They make our lives much easier and it is a big advantage, but sometimes we can have problems with delivery or with sellers and it is a disadvantage.
To begin
with,
due-to
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due to
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online shopping, people started to spend less time on the streets, which is why they communicate rarely with each other and
also
their lifestyle
became
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has become
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more
inactivity
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inactive
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. A bunch of problems with careless delivery and low-quality items make us feel discomfort.
Additionally
, there are a lot of scammers on the Internet who steal money from citizens and some teenagers have an addiction
from
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to
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online shopping. They spend too much money on useless and pathetic items.
On the other hand
, people should not search
anything
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for anything
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through the whole city anymore and now we have much more free time which we can spend with our family, friends, relatives or with ourselves. Online platforms are very useful for the old generation because it is very hard for them to go to the market to buy medicine and food. You may even make your own shop on the Internet, it will be cheaper than renting a building and it may bring
a
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in a
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bunch of money. The main advantages of online shops are a wide assortment, where everyone can find any product, furniture and even clothes (and it is a piece of cake to use.) In conclusion, I would like to say that buying things online has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Everybody makes his own decision about online shops, but I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
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Task Achievement
Focus on directly and fully addressing the essay prompt. You've discussed online shopping, which is not specifically related to the original topic about cultural practices in visiting countries. Ensure your essay matches the given prompt to improve your Task Achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct idea. A strong essay typically includes an introduction, body paragraphs for each view or aspect you're discussing, and a conclusion. This will enhance the logical flow and structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your points more fully with relevant examples or explanations. While you've mentioned some advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, more specific examples or personal insights related to the topic of cultural practices when visiting other countries would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly and show the relationships between them. This helps your reader follow your argument more easily and enhances the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious interaction
  • cultural misunderstandings
  • immersive
  • cultural identity
  • inclusivity
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual respect
  • fostering understanding
  • vibrant
  • respective cultures
  • cultural appreciation
  • cultural enrichment
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