some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many think that travellers ought to comply
the
behaviour patterns and unwritten rules of the destination they go Change preposition
with the
because
it shows the true self of the Change preposition
to because
place
, while
others say the receiving nation ought to comply nonsimilar
acts and beliefs to maintain the tourist attraction. I Change preposition
with nonsimilar
belive
visitors do not need to follow the norms of the Correct your spelling
believe
place
they travel because
it encourages us to travel more.
On the one hand, people find Change preposition
to because
recpecting
the other side's accepted norms is one of the visitors' own duties because if someone wants to experience Correct your spelling
respecting
the
life in a society, they should act like a part of it to truly see its conditions. Take India, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, many visit the temples which
made for religious purposes and they are expected to respect, act and dress as they believe in that specific religion, even if they do not. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, I believe so long as we respect some of the main values of the location we go, we do not need to meet every single expectations
of the area because it may discourage us from seeing certain places.
Change to a singular noun
expectation
On the other hand
, people think the citizens of the destination should tolerate the different cultures which incoming people have. In order to keep receiving tourists, which is helpful to a nation's economy, human beings live
there should Wrong verb form
living
condonate
the differences and be more tolerant Correct your spelling
condone
to
alternative Change preposition
of
life styles
and different approaches. Correct your spelling
lifestyles
For example
, in Dubai, where
is originally a part of the Islamic practices, women generally do not need to wear a hijab or cover their hair in a way. I think if a country wants an income branch Correct word choice
which
comes
from tourism, it should be open to its visitors' origin practices.
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
To conclude
, although
certain rules in a
society deserve to be respected by everyone, I believe as long as we meet the minimum Remove the article
apply
neccessities
and norms of the Correct your spelling
necessities
place
we visit, it is the touristic
Replace the word
tourist
place
's job to welcome different lifestyles and beliefs because if they do not, it may lose its attraction on travellers.Submitted by :DDDDD on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a more logical and coherent structure by better organising your paragraphs. Begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by examples, and conclude each paragraph summarising your point. This will make your argument clearer and more persuasive.
Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure you adequately address all parts of the prompt. It seems you've outlined both views and your opinion, but the development of each is quite surface-level. Delve deeper into why each view might be held and provide more varied and detailed examples to support your points.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that can detract from the clarity of your argument. Practising more complex sentence structures and reviewing grammar rules can significantly improve your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.