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Writing Samples /
Band 5

There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to the company arrive. The manager has asked for suggestions on how the reception area could be improved Please write a letter to our manager. In the letter • Describe the complaints • Say why the reception area is important • Suggest how the reception area could be improved

#complaints #reception #area #visitors #company #manager #suggestions
Dear Sir , I hope
this
 letter finds you in a radiant of health and great spirits . I am writing
this
 letter to give my suggestions
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 we can tackle the problems regarding the reception area which is a crucial part of our company. I have heard from our customers and employees about the restricted place which is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 the congestion at the reception and people didn't get
proper
Add an article
a proper
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 place to sit which is a result of
line-up
Correct article usage
the line-up
show examples
hence
,
this
 thing devalues the image of the company . The reception area is very significant which reflects the uniqueness of the prestige building where people can get knowledge and information about the jobs and careers . My suggestion is to remove the three seater sofa and install
sectional
Correct article usage
a sectional
show examples
 sofa
this
 way , more sitting
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
 will be available.
Moreover
, the artificial plants should be replaced by the original plants
thus
 ,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of oxygen will be increased
hence
, the individuals will not feel suffocated. I hope you will consider my opinion and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jai
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. You have attempted to do so, but adding more detail to each point and providing specific examples or elaborating on the suggestions could enhance task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your letter. You have the basic structure down, but improving your transitions and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea could help.
Writing Tone
Although your letter greets and closes properly, strive to use more formal language throughout your letter for consistency in tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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