In today’s world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
nowadays,
people
splurge out
on their Change preposition
apply
look
in order to stay young. Fix the agreement mistake
looks
This
essay will discuss the reasons and the side effects of this
phenomenon.
For thousand
of years, human beings have been struggling Correct your spelling
thousands
with finding
a treatment to Change preposition
to find
perevent
Correct your spelling
prevent
aging
. Getting old could be frightening because body and face undergo changes so a lot of Change the spelling
ageing
people
are looking for a way to stop this
trend. For example
, it has been seen that celebrities take all kinds of treatments from using expensive creams and having a rejuvenating diet to the botax injection and surgery, to be young and look beautiful in front of the public.
The advantage of trying to stay young is to boost self confidence
. Add a hyphen
self-confidence
People
who look young and beautiful get a lot of compliments among
the public so they feel they are good enough and Change preposition
from
the
society Correct article usage
apply
admire
them. Correct subject-verb agreement
admires
Thus
, they feel more confidence and power. For
instance
a woman who is well-dressed and looks young and Add a comma
instance,
beaufitul
is in the Correct your spelling
beautiful
center
of attention in almost every Change the spelling
centre
places
and others will respect her more than everyone.
Change to a singular noun
place
However
, this
trend causes the public to not accept their look and make
them feel they are not good enough. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
In
Change preposition
As
result
, a significant amount of money is paid to improve appearance Correct article usage
a result
while
the sence
of satisfaction will not felt. many Correct your spelling
sense
actuall
cases can be seen in the streets where some Correct your spelling
actual
actually
people
look wierd
and unusual Correct your spelling
weird
due to
all surgery
they have done.
In conclusion, attention to Correct article usage
the surgery
the
appearance and spending on it, is not a problem though, Correct article usage
apply
over spending
and being obsessed about it may harm individuals physically and mentally.Correct your spelling
overspending
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on
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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction briefly presented the topic, but it could be enhanced by clearly stating your main arguments. Elaborate on your conclusion to effectively summarize your points and restate your opinion.
Logical Structure
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide readers through the essay. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you provided examples related to celebrities, adding more varied and detailed instances can strengthen your argument.
Complete Response
Clearly address the essay prompt by discussing both the reasons behind the phenomenon and its positive or negative implications. Make sure to express your opinion explicitly and support it with arguments.
Coherence/Cohesion
Use cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns) to create better flow and coherence. Avoid repeating words; instead, use synonyms or paraphrase to maintain interest and readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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