Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, many
people
smoking and it is a cause
of different illnesses so governments should prohibit smoking or taking tobacco
.
Nowadays, plenty of people
take tobacco
and then
die and it is caused by smoking. Nonetheless
, many men smoke
. From my point of view, if the government want to healthy life, they must forbid smoking and say that people
who use tobacco
or smoking, we demand a large amount of money. Then
this
rule a lot of people
will not smoke
.Moreover
, a plethora of the population dies, due to
they take tobacco
or smoking very much per day and about 8.6 million people
in the US have at least 1 serious illness that is
caused by smoking. Moreover
, in 2012, 18.1% of Americans, 18 and older, were current smokers. A cigarette contains over 4800 chemicals 69 of which are known to cause
cancer. Secondhand, smoke
contains over 7000 chemicals, including 70 cancer-causing chemicals. So,I totally agree and if the government stem smoking, there are many useful sides for us. For instance
, the air will more clearer because cigarette smoke
is very bad for our health. In addition
to
, those who Change preposition
apply
smoke
cigarettes, his lungs
Fix the agreement mistake
lung
are
cancer, and they Unnecessary verb
apply
impact
to lungs, oesophagus and Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
livers
. Fix the agreement mistake
liver
Further
, it causes cause
emphysema and it is the cause
of complicating respire and other bad things. Nevertheless
, some men smoke
brazenly and it is the worst thing. Apart from that, we are Muslims and our faith is Islam in Islam faith smoking is one of the most harmful things. So, smoking does not have any merits, but smoking has many demerits for our health and environment.
To sum up
, smoking is one of the worst things in the world and it has only bad ways in every way on people
's lives, air, animals and another
healthy Correct quantifier usage
other
thing
. In that way, the government should ban smoking as it is the best way to healthy life.Fix the agreement mistake
things
Submitted by Shaxnoza on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Begin with a statement of your viewpoint, followed by paragraphs that support your position with arguments and examples, and conclude with a brief summary or a restatement of your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. Each paragraph should contain one main idea or argument, supported by relevant examples or data. Avoid making general statements without providing specific evidence or examples to support them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly from one idea to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your essay. Examples include 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'however', and 'therefore'. This will enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
Language
Review your essay for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Proper grammar and varied vocabulary can greatly contribute to the clarity and strength of your argument. Consider revising sentences that are unclear or repetitive.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion