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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The gap below shows the production levels of the three main textile fibres in Australia since 1983 with a projection for 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releveant.

#gap #production #levels #three #textile #fibres #australia #projection #summarise #information #features #comparisons #releveant
The graph illustrates the
quantitiy
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
 of several textile fibres in Australia from 1983 to predicted 2019. On the whole, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a decrease in wool
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 nylon and an increase in polyester. One of the noticeable
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 is that the production level of wool is decreasing but
highest
Add a missing verb
is highest
show examples
 in all three productions throughout the period. Specifically, the level was about 900
tonnes
 in 1983, and
then
 there was a significant decrease from 1990 to 1993. After that,
once
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it increased to about 800
tonnes
 by 2002, but
then
,
have been
Verb problem
it
show examples
 decreased again from
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 time.
In addition
, nylon product levels are
also
 decreasing. It was the second highest from 1983 at 600
tonnes
 to 2006 at about 350
tonnes
. Interestingly, the levels have been the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 2007 and will decrease
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 150
tonnes
 by the end of the period in 2019. The final point to note is that there are significant
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in polyester, which started at 100 in 1983
tonnes
 but will
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 to 500
tonnes
 in 2019.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay in a clearer way by organizing it into more distinct paragraphs - one for the introduction, one for each main point, and a conclusion. This will help the reader follow your analysis more easily.
task achievement
Enhance your introduction by explicitly mentioning the types of textile fibers discussed. This provides a clearer context for the reader from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, briefly summarize the main trends for each textile fiber. A conclusion helps to round off the essay and gives the reader a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied sentence structures and transition words to improve the flow of your essay, making it easier and more enjoyable to read.
task achievement
Make sure your descriptions of trends are precise. Using phrases like 'significant decrease' should be supported with specific figures where possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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