IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar graph indicates information concerning the US population's drinking habits by five categories of
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that most
people
Use synonyms
 have the Never
drink
Capitalize word
Drink
show examples
 habit
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
. A cursory
glanc
Correct your spelling
glance
 at the data reveals that
people
Use synonyms
 who have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no experience of drink over 50% in the ages from 16 to 64 years.
However
Linking Words
,
65
Correct article usage
the 65
show examples
-74 years group
people
Use synonyms
 declined slightly accounting
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 40%. Another eye-catching trend is that having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ex-drink habits
people
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly in 25-34 and 35-44 ages
however
Linking Words
, it rapidly
increasd
Correct your spelling
increased
 and the highest percentage was in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
from 65 to 74. A more detailed look at the graph
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
 that having heavy drinkers and light
drnkers
Correct your spelling
drinkers
 habits
people
Use synonyms
 show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shape that increases with age and
then
Linking Words
 decreases again.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Drinking habits
  • Population demographics
  • Age group/bracket
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Frequency of drinking
  • Heavy drinking
  • Moderate drinking
  • Teetotaler
  • Legal drinking age
  • Societal norms
  • Trends over time
  • Underage drinking
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Health implications
  • Statistical data
  • Comparative analysis
  • Bar chart/Line graph
  • Binge drinking
  • Responsibility in drinking
  • Age-specific patterns
  • Cross-generational comparison
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