IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the amount of foreign direct investment in India and China from 2014 to 2019.

The bar chart shows the amount of foreign direct investment in India and China from 2014 to 2019.
#bar #amount #investment #india #china
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar graph indicates information concerning the number of foreign instant
Use synonyms
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 in two different countries (
India
Use synonyms
 and
China
Use synonyms
) between 2014 and 2019. The data is measured by billion dollars. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
China
Use synonyms
's volume of
investment
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Change noun form
India's
show examples
India
Use synonyms
 except for the year 2015. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period,
China
Use synonyms
's amount of
investment
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference and the quantities
less
Add a missing verb
were less
show examples
 than 80% in
China
Use synonyms
 and over 20% in
India
Use synonyms
. Similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
2014
Correct article usage
the 2014
show examples
 amount, in the year 2018,
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 nations
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
difference
Add an article
a difference
the difference
show examples
In addition
Linking Words
, another eye-catching trend is that both countries
was
Verb problem
saw
show examples
 little change between 2015 and 2016 accounting for about 60%.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period,
Change noun form
China's
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 amount of
investment
Use synonyms
 slightly decreased
while
Linking Words
Change noun form
India's
show examples
India
Use synonyms
 quantities decreased rapidly. In the year 2018
Add a comma
,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
's quantities of direct
investment
Use synonyms
 climbed dramatically
however
Linking Words
, dropped to approximately 40% again.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words investment, india, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: