Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

A lot of employees spend longer
hours
working, giving minimal attention to leisure activities.
This
phenomenon has its benefits
as well as
drawbacks,
this
essay will discuss both sides in the paragraphs below,
To begin
with, increased productivity and financial gain is one of the advantages by which people work longer
hours
. Many individuals tend to take extra shifts in order to get additional income to support themselves and
also
to boost job performance.
For instance
, some companies
introduces
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introduce
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more appealing incentives which can attract
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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workers to work more efficiently in other to boost their income rate.
Additionally
,
due to
personal fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment, many people
out work
Correct your spelling
outwork
show examples
themselves to achieve that goal and meet their expectations.
However
, working without having personal time for leisure moments has its disadvantages
such
as
,
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apply
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neglect of personal relationships and social life. Parents sometimes do not have time for their children or family members
due to
the rate at which they spend their time in their workplaces.
Furthermore
, spending
much
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many
show examples
hours
during job activities leads to burnout which
further
contributes to physical and mental breakdown.Employees become stressed and frustrated when they don't have enough breaks for resting and bad for one's health.
Therefore
, there
has
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have
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been some initiatives by employers to give their workers some days off for holidays to help improve their mental
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
. To summarize, working for
hours
without giving breaks for leisure activities has
it's
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its
show examples
pros but
this
leads to mental and physical decline and people tend to neglect their own families and needs. It will be advisable to strike a balance between working and protecting our family and mental health.
Submitted by dede on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are well defined, but further clarity in the body paragraphs can improve the structure.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has some logical structure, the use of more cohesive devices can enhance readability.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. You provided instances, but adding more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. Ensure that your essay maintains a balanced discussion throughout.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • financial gain
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • personal fulfillment
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social life
  • quality of life
  • neglect
  • leisure activities
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