Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

#people #hours #time #leisure #activities

A lot of employees spend longer

hours

working, giving minimal attention to leisure activities.

This

phenomenon has its benefits

as well as

drawbacks,

this

essay will discuss both sides in the paragraphs below,

To begin

with, increased productivity and financial gain is one of the advantages by which people work longer

hours

. Many individuals tend to take extra shifts in order to get additional income to support themselves and

also

to boost job performance.

For instance

, some companies

introduces

Change the verb form

introduce

show examples

more appealing incentives which can attract

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers to work more efficiently in other to boost their income rate.

Additionally

due to

personal fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment, many people

out work

Correct your spelling

outwork

show examples

themselves to achieve that goal and meet their expectations.

However

, working without having personal time for leisure moments has its disadvantages

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

neglect of personal relationships and social life. Parents sometimes do not have time for their children or family members

due to

the rate at which they spend their time in their workplaces.

Furthermore

, spending

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

hours

during job activities leads to burnout which

further

contributes to physical and mental breakdown.Employees become stressed and frustrated when they don't have enough breaks for resting and bad for one's health.

Therefore

, there

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been some initiatives by employers to give their workers some days off for holidays to help improve their mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. To summarize, working for

hours

without giving breaks for leisure activities has

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

pros but

this

leads to mental and physical decline and people tend to neglect their own families and needs. It will be advisable to strike a balance between working and protecting our family and mental health.

Submitted by dede on Wed Mar 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are well defined, but further clarity in the body paragraphs can improve the structure.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has some logical structure, the use of more cohesive devices can enhance readability.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. You provided instances, but adding more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. Ensure that your essay maintains a balanced discussion throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

burnout
work-life balance
productivity
financial gain
career advancement
skill development
personal fulfillment
physical health
mental health
social life
quality of life
neglect
leisure activities

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Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

Your opinion

In most countries around the world, children begin learning the English language at school from the primary level. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teaching the English language to children at an early age?

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.