Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

A lot of employees spend longer

hours

Use synonyms

working, giving minimal attention to leisure activities.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has its benefits

as well as

Linking Words

drawbacks,

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides in the paragraphs below,

To begin

Linking Words

with, increased productivity and financial gain is one of the advantages by which people work longer

hours

Use synonyms

. Many individuals tend to take extra shifts in order to get additional income to support themselves and

also

Linking Words

to boost job performance.

For instance

Linking Words

, some companies

introduces

Change the verb form

introduce

show examples

more appealing incentives which can attract

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers to work more efficiently in other to boost their income rate.

Additionally

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

personal fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment, many people

out work

Correct your spelling

outwork

show examples

themselves to achieve that goal and meet their expectations.

However

Linking Words

, working without having personal time for leisure moments has its disadvantages

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

neglect of personal relationships and social life. Parents sometimes do not have time for their children or family members

due to

Linking Words

the rate at which they spend their time in their workplaces.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, spending

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

hours

Use synonyms

during job activities leads to burnout which

further

Linking Words

contributes to physical and mental breakdown.Employees become stressed and frustrated when they don't have enough breaks for resting and bad for one's health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been some initiatives by employers to give their workers some days off for holidays to help improve their mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. To summarize, working for

hours

Use synonyms

without giving breaks for leisure activities has

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

pros but

this

Linking Words

leads to mental and physical decline and people tend to neglect their own families and needs. It will be advisable to strike a balance between working and protecting our family and mental health.

dede

Mar 20, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are well defined, but further clarity in the body paragraphs can improve the structure.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has some logical structure, the use of more cohesive devices can enhance readability.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. You provided instances, but adding more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. Ensure that your essay maintains a balanced discussion throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

burnout
work-life balance
productivity
financial gain
career advancement
skill development
personal fulfillment
physical health
mental health
social life
quality of life
neglect
leisure activities

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Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

rev----jan---It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree? (Agree or Disagree)

Write a letter to a friend inviting them to go on vacation with you. Include Why you want to go on holiday Where you want to go Why you want them to come with you