Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #enourage #people

Many manufacturers

food

Change preposition

of food

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and drink products contain high levels of sugar which

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

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health problems.

This

essay

disagree

Change the verb form

disagrees

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with the

Remove the redundancy

apply

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statement above. In my opinion, If the product goes higher that does not mean people will stop

baying

Correct your spelling

buying

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it they will continue using the products more and more.

for

Capitalize word

For

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example the price of cigarettes

change

Correct subject-verb agreement

changes

show examples

very often that doesn't stop people from buying it And cigarettes

Correct your spelling

cousins

cousis

Correct your spelling

cause

so many health problems and people get sick and

died

Wrong verb form

die

show examples

, for the time

being

Add a comma

being,

show examples

some young children are addicted to sugar in general and they can't live without it

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

because of their parents who

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

show examples

them to buy it

Submitted by waleedal3ayed on Thu Mar 21 2024

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task achievement

Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that presents your main argument. A robust introduction sets the stage for the reader.

task achievement

Ensure to cover both sides of the argument before stating your position, to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphs to organize your ideas. Each paragraph should have a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to conclude your essay with a summary of your points and a restatement of your position. This helps to round off your argument clearly.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your language skills.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

108 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Write to the company. In your letter •Describe what you purchased •Explain why you are not happy with the purchase •Tell them what you would like them to do about the situation

28. Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

7. Some people think that the only way to have a success in business is to have a unique product. What factors, do you think, influence the success of a company?