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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
The table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the information about
sales
 of Fairtrade which labelled
coffee
 and bananas between 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. In the first table, it
described
Wrong verb form
describes
show examples
 the statement of
coffee
 and bananas.
Unit
Correct article usage
The unit
show examples
 of each
tables
Change to a singular noun
table
show examples
 is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 as millions of
euros
.
Overall
, within 5 years,
sales
 of
coffee
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased the most in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 by 18.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
.
Then
, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
merely
Change preposition
by merely
show examples
 some
euros
 in other countries which were Switzerland by 3
euros
 and 0.7
euros
 of these
coffee
sales
 sold in
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 respectively.
However
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Sweden and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Denmark had
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same increases which were 1.8 to 2 and 0.8 to 1.
Firstly
, in bananas
sales
 in Sweden and in Denmark, there are tendency
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 decrease.
Secondly
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had the highest increase among all countries and
then
, Switzerland and
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 had similar
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in
sales
 of Fairtrade-labelled
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, euros with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade-labelled
  • sales figures
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • European countries
  • sales volume
  • notable trend
  • exponential growth
  • moderate rise
  • marked decline
  • comparative analysis
  • economic factors
  • consumer preferences
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