IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

(SOFIA) You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter – Describe the problem the new employee has caused – Explain how other colleagues feel about the new employee’s conduct – Say how you expect the manager to address the situation.

#sofia #employee #workplace #hr #manager #colleagues #employee’s #conduct #address #situation
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about my concern recently hired employee in
oure
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our
office
. Please let me explain the issue which
me
Change the pronoun
I
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 and other
colegues
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colleagues
 of mine
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 facing since his appointment. From the
begining
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beginning
his
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of his
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 first day, he started irritating me with his rude attitude. He
bevave
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became
behave
 all of us in an improper way. You know very well that he is not
punchuate
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punctuate
punctual
punctuated
 in his timings so his
unpunchuality
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unpunctuality
punctuality
effets
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affects
 other employees
also
. He
dose
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does
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 not feel ashamed
with
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of
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 his insulting behaviour with our
clints
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clients
show examples
 too.
This
 type of practice
puts
Verb problem
has
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bad
Add an article
a bad
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 impact on our clients. If you want to maintain a
peacefull
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peaceful
 and
dutifull
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dutifully
dutiful
atmosphare
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atmosphere
 in the
office
, You should take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
serious notice of my complaints.
This
office
 is like my home and I always felt
my self
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myself
show examples
 a family member of
this
deparment
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department
. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinon
Add a comma
opinon,
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 you should take a proper step to resolve
this
 issue, Before
its
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it's
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 too late. Let me explain one more
thig
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thing
show examples
, that I have no personal issues with him. I never
Let
Fix capitalization
let
show examples
 you down. I hope you take serious action
in
Change preposition
for
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 the betterment of our
office
. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a distinct focus: introduction, issue description, impact and request for action. This will enhance logical progression.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to the appropriate use of linking words to improve flow between ideas (e.g., consequently, moreover, however).
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples of the employee's behavior and its impact to make your concerns more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Adopt a more formal and respectful tone when addressing HR, avoiding overly casual phrases and ensuring politeness.
General
Consider revising for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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