(SOFIA) You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter – Describe the problem the new employee has caused – Explain how other colleagues feel about the new employee’s conduct – Say how you expect the manager to address the situation.

#sofia #employee #workplace #hr #manager #colleagues #employee’s #conduct #address #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to inform you about my concern recently hired employee in

oure

Correct your spelling

our

office

. Please let me explain the issue which

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show examples

and other

colegues

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colleagues

of mine

are

Wrong verb form

have been

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facing since his appointment. From the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

his

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of his

show examples

first day, he started irritating me with his rude attitude. He

bevave

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became

behave

all of us in an improper way. You know very well that he is not

punchuate

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punctuate

punctual

punctuated

in his timings so his

unpunchuality

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unpunctuality

punctuality

effets

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affects

other employees

also

. He

dose

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does

show examples

not feel ashamed

with

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show examples

his insulting behaviour with our

clints

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clients

show examples

too.

This

type of practice

puts

Verb problem

has

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bad

Add an article

a bad

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impact on our clients. If you want to maintain a

peacefull

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peaceful

and

dutifull

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dutifully

dutiful

atmosphare

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atmosphere

in the

office

, You should take

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apply

show examples

serious notice of my complaints.

This

office

is like my home and I always felt

my self

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myself

show examples

a family member of

this

deparment

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department

. In my

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opinion

opinon

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opinon,

show examples

you should take a proper step to resolve

this

issue, Before

its

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it's

show examples

too late. Let me explain one more

thig

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thing

show examples

, that I have no personal issues with him. I never

Let

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let

show examples

you down. I hope you take serious action

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for

show examples

the betterment of our

office

. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar

Submitted by computersinn2007 on Fri Mar 22 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a distinct focus: introduction, issue description, impact and request for action. This will enhance logical progression.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to the appropriate use of linking words to improve flow between ideas (e.g., consequently, moreover, however).

Task Achievement

Provide specific examples of the employee's behavior and its impact to make your concerns more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Adopt a more formal and respectful tone when addressing HR, avoiding overly casual phrases and ensuring politeness.

General

Consider revising for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

195 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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