The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

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There is a controversial perspective
over
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on
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the fact that the number of
individuals
who suffer from dire diseases because of being overweight is accelerating.
This
essay is dedicated to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent far-reaching remedies for
this
alarming phenomenon. Without a shadow of a doubt, high consumption of processed foods can be cited as an influential determinant
to
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of
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obesity which leads to weight-related health problems.
Moreover
, the marketing of unhealthy foods
along with
beverages has significantly negative impacts on dietary choices.
For instance
, the overconsumption of convenient and inexpensive hamburgers from fast-food chains
such
as
BurgerKing
Correct your spelling
Burger King
do
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does
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harm to customers’ health.
Hence
, I would contend that those are the culprits for overweightness. To address
this
pressing problem, both the governments and ordinary persons have to join hands and take all-rounded measures. Taking political power in a nation, the government should allocate money to programs that promote residents’ awareness about the essence of regular physical activities.
Additionally
, it is
individuals
who should pursue a balanced diet in order to avoid obesity and urgent health-related issues.
For example
, the governors can impose some incentives that encourage people to do physical exercises frequently
such
as one hour of walking in exchange for one potted plant.
Therefore
, both the government and
individuals
can take effective measures to deal with obesity. In conclusion, it is advisable for both the government and
individuals
to
hold
Wrong verb form
be held
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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of
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for
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weight management.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. Provide precise examples or data to support your points. For example, expand on the health problems associated with obesity by offering statistics or findings from reputable studies.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively. Consider varying your connecting words more, as this can help the flow of your essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly related to the question.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • genetics
  • nutritional awareness
  • processed foods
  • fast food
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative measures
  • tax incentives
  • urban planning
  • community gardens
  • wellness initiatives
  • dietary guidelines
  • physical fitness
  • calorie-dense
  • portion control
  • metabolic rate
  • health literacy
  • food deserts
  • work-life balance
  • junk food
  • BMI (Body Mass Index)
  • non-communicable diseases
  • food labeling
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