The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph indicates Anthropology
graduates
' destination from a university and the table shows how much
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
these
graduates
earn after participating in work 5 years later. More than half of the graduate students chose to take part in full-time work with the
figure
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
a marked 52%.
However
, the percentages of
graduates
who worked as part-time workers and who were unemployed are
similarly
15% and 12% respectively. There are
also
graduates
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
to learn
further
study, with the
figure
for
graduates
attending full-time postgrad study is 8%
while
equally to the
figure
for Anthropology students whose destinations are not known.
Moreover
, 5% of students did part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
postgrad
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
coincidently. As for those
graduates
working for 5 years, there are evident differences between their salaries. People who work as freelance consultants are more likely to earn higher salaries with 80% of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to earn more than $75,000.
Although
there is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same result of
caculation
Correct your spelling
calculation
in people who can earn more than $75,000, the
figure
for people who earn $100,000+ working in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to be bigger (50%). Private company owners have dramatic differences between the income level, as 35% and 30% of them earn $50,000-74,999 and more than %100,000 respectively
while
25% and 10% of them only earn %75,000-99,999 and $25,000 to 49,999 respectively.
Overall
, plenty
destinations
Change preposition
of destinations
show examples
can
be chose
Change the verb form
be chosen
show examples
for the
graduates
and most of them are able to earn a living after working in different types of employment for 5 years.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: