IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives than to other workers.To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers #disagree？
It is sometimes argued
that
Correct word choice
apply
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whether
corporation
Add an article
the corporation
a corporation
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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ought to pay higher stipends to CEOs and
executives
 or not.
While
 I completely support that the CEOs and
executives
 deserve
a
Remove the article
apply
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better treatment. The
executives
 are qualified for better treatments for owning more precious experience.The
executives
 are always the seasoned staff who found the enterprise or participated in
at
Correct pronoun usage
it at
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 an early period, they are more familiar with the market and personal management which matters a lot in administering the working programs well.
Such
 as
the
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apply
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task distribution and personnel arrangement.
Additionally
,
the
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apply
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better pay is considered as
higher
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a higher
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 working class
along with
 esteem from other
staffs
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staff
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,which will provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
sense of achievement. The people who enjoy a prior tier in
company
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the company
a company
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 are equipped with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 education background and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 undertaken though series of practical challenges.When
confronting
Wrong verb form
confronted
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 with problems or
dilemma
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dilemmas
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, the scientific and appropriate decisions made by them can directly judge the fate of the
company
.
Besides
, they are prone to have a broadened social relationship and connections that promote the cooperation between enterprises which do help to the development of the
company
.It is universally acknowledged that the trend in
contemporary
Add an article
a contemporary
the contemporary
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 business environment is to work with others and cooperation opportunities erected by
executives
 play an indispensable role in enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitiveness. In conclusion，I agree that corporation is supposed to give CEOs and
executives
a
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apply
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higher pay and I am firmly convinced that
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 to
executives
 will perform well and be able to avoid
pitfall
Fix the agreement mistake
pitfalls
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future development.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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task response
Consider a more balanced approach in your essay by discussing opposing viewpoints. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your task response score.
task response
Strive to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your main points but also makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by using clearer paragraphing and better linking words. This will improve the readability and flow of your essay, positively impacting the coherence and cohesion score.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a stronger thesis statement in your introduction and ensure your conclusion effectively summarises your main points. This will provide a clearer framework for your essay and improve its overall structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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