Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some graduates argue that learning more
subjects
than their main courses is important to them,
although
others believe they
are suppose
Change the verb form
are supposed
show examples
to pay all attention to get a certificate. I think fighting for a qualification means a lot, but university
students
should be encouraged to study other
subjects
in addition
to their main
subjects
. There are some university
students
thinking they need to learn additional
subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
can help them consider things comprehensively and
then
enable them to cope with complex
problems
in daily life.
Problems
we want to solve in daily life are always complex and it is difficult to resolve them with
knowledge
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
comes from only
an
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
area. Studying
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
of
subjects
allows
students
to be rich
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
knowledge
in many domains, which makes solving difficult
problems
easier for them.
For instance
,
students
may need
knowledge
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
engineering and physics to repair their electrical
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
However
, other graduates feel that getting a qualification is more important for them.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
this
way, they can do well in their major and have something to show how good they are, which allows them to be more possible to find a
job
. Nowadays it is more and more difficult for
students
to find a good
job
after graduating. A certificate can prove their ability and make an impression on companies.
this
will lead to a higher likelihood
getting
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
a
job
.
For example
, a
student
Add the auxiliary verb
student has
show examples
been major
Wrong verb form
majoring
show examples
in law
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
pass
Correct subject-verb agreement
passes
show examples
the LLM is more
probable
Correct word choice
likely
show examples
to get a
job
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have
this
qualification. In my opinion, studying other
subjexts
Correct your spelling
subjects
in addition
to major
subjects
is more essential to
students
because
this
can be a cause of satisfying the
require
Replace the word
requirements
show examples
of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
. At present, the world
ask
Change the verb form
asks
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who have
knowledge
in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
to
sovle diffivult
Correct your spelling
solve difficult
problems
.
For instance
, Google wants its employees
konwing
Correct your spelling
knowing
things about
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and management. So if
students
learn more
subjects
, they can
habe
Correct your spelling
have
knowledge
both from their major and other majors, which enables them to satisfy their potential employers and be successful in the future.
To sum up
, some may believe having a certification is more essential to them, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should study additional
subjects
as many as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
can.
Submitted by 2578922328 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For task achievement, aim to develop your arguments with clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Focus on fully answering the prompt by discussing both sides equally and providing a more detailed analysis of your own viewpoint. Seek to include more specific examples to support each of your points, enhancing the depth and relevance of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strength coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your ideas more logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly into the next. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, include a distinct introduction and conclusion to frame your essay properly and reinforce your arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: