IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the phenomenon that
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
 of commodities should be cut down on.
While
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 some claim that producers have a high liability so as to alleviate
only-used
Correct your spelling
only used
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 packages, the opposite makes a statement that consumers are
also
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 highly accountable to avoid purchasing packaged items.
While
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 they have their own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. In terms of the responsibility of markets, it is of essence to mitigate the use of packages, especially because it can damage to
human’s
Change noun form
human
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 environment. To be specific, producers have to generate a myriad of
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 packs in order to hold those items to the clients, yet they are the major reason
making
Change preposition
for making
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 pollutants.
For instance
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, there are lots of natural sites
such
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 as To Lich
river
Capitalize word
River
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 have been polluted by abusing plastic bags, so they negatively
affects
Change the verb form
affect
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 the locals living around them.
Additionally
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, suppliers have manufactured novel
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycled
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 items which are made by utilizing technological
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 so that the surroundings can be considered as a leading company in producing sweet beverages,
announce
Correct word choice
and announce
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 their brand new products with
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycled
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 bottles.
subsequently
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, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only decrease the polluted environment but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
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 help their producer expand
the
Change the word
their
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 profit.
Therefore
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, manufacturers
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to handle
this
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 reality.
While
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 the liability of suppliers is widely acknowledged, customers should
also
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 join their hands
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 matter by avoiding using a wide range of packages. Particularly, they can literally use their own
recycle
Replace the word
recycled
show examples
 handbags to purchase their commodities. By doing so, they not only protect their
residentual
Correct your spelling
residential
 sites
nut
Correct your spelling
but
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 they can
also
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 alter their ordinary routine.
For instance
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, there are some kinds of bags
preserving
Wrong verb form
that preserve
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 the environment
such
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 as tote bags that users can use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
frequently. In doing so, they allow individuals to have a memorable notification about changing their undesirable
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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as well as
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 help them to improve their physical
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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.
Hence
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, it is
also
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 significant for human beings to avoid affording stuff with lots of packaging. In conclusion, either supermarkets or consumers need to change their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 about packaging.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay’s direction and your thesis statement. The current introduction could be made clearer by succinctly stating the two views and your own position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical structure by making stronger connections between paragraphs. Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clearly indicate the main idea.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mention facts, like the To Lich river pollution, giving specific studies, statistics, or documented cases can strengthen your argument.
Language Use & Style
Work on clarity and precision in writing. Avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Aim for clearer, more direct language to express your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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