After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

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There

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a worrying phenomenon recently, where

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

repeat to commit

crimes

Use synonyms

after being punished in jail. The primary reason why

this

Linking Words

happens is because governments only sentence the criminals themselves.

Therefore

Linking Words

, to address

this

Linking Words

problem, the states should punish

Use synonyms

ex-prisoners'

Correct your spelling

ex-prisoners

families in case they redo their

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

in the future. Individuals who are proven to have committed

crimes

Use synonyms

by the court will be sent to jail for several years, depending on the kinds of

crimes

Use synonyms

they commit.

However

Linking Words

, even though

this

Linking Words

method has been adopted by many nations worldwide since the 16th century, it has a drawback. Since

this

Linking Words

method only punishes the criminals themselves, after being released from prison, they may believe they have fulfilled their past obligations.

As a result

Linking Words

, there is a high possibility that

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

will recommit

crimes

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again. Take Indonesia,

for example

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; based on data released by the Indonesian Police Force, around 35

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of total

crimes

Use synonyms

in Indonesia are committed by

ex-prisoners

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. To alleviate the number of

crimes

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committed by

ex-prisoners

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, the government should punish not just the individuals who commit them, but

also

Linking Words

their families. It might sound cruel, but

China

Use synonyms

demonstrates that

this

Linking Words

method is very effective in preventing

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

from redoing their

crimes

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. In

China

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, if individuals are sent to jail, their whole

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

will suffer too because the Chinese government will restrict the prisoner's family's access to public healthcare and public transportation systems.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is very rare to see

ex-prisoners

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China

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recommitting their

crimes

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again. In conclusion, the growing trend where criminals redo their

crimes

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is because governments do not punish them enough. To tackle

this

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issue, governments should adopt what

China

Use synonyms

did, which is

also

Linking Words

punishing the prisoners' families.

rahmanparentioSat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, it's important to fully address all parts of the prompt. The essay should discuss reasons why criminals continue to commit crimes after being punished and suggest measures beyond punitive ones for the criminals' families. Consider rehabilitative and preventive strategies that address root causes of criminal behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance Coherence and Cohesion by organizing your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas, and ensure there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. Using connective words or phrases can help smooth the transition between ideas, making your argument more convincing.

Task Achievement

For a more complete Task Response, it is essential to critically evaluate the measures suggested and consider a wider range of solutions. The argument could benefit from a balanced view that considers the ethical implications of collective punishment and explores alternative strategies such as educational programs, community support, and rehabilitation services.

Task Achievement

To provide a richer argument and fulfill the task more effectively, offer examples from various contexts and cultures. This will demonstrate a broader understanding of the issue globally. Furthermore, ensure your essay reflects a balanced perspective by acknowledging potential downsides to the measures you propose and suggesting how they could be mitigated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
reintegration
recidivism
underlying issues
support systems
criminal networks
peer pressure
barriers
psychological assessment
addiction treatment
economic factors
sentencing
data analysis
community-based programs
restorative justice
vocational training
social inequalities
preventive measures
post-release
crime cycle

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After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that graduating from college can lead to long-term success, while others believe that young people should start working after graduating from high school. From my perspective, it is better to go to college as this will increase their job opportunities

In many coutries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspaper. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to this problem?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?