After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.
There
is
a worrying phenomenon recently, where Wrong verb form
has been
ex-prisoners
repeat to commit crimes
after being punished in jail. The primary reason why this
happens is because governments only sentence the criminals themselves. Therefore
, to address this
problem, the states should punish ex-prisoners'
families in case they redo their Correct your spelling
ex-prisoners
crime
in the future.
Individuals who are proven to have committed Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
crimes
by the court will be sent to jail for several years, depending on the kinds of crimes
they commit. However
, even though this
method has been adopted by many nations worldwide since the 16th century, it has a drawback. Since this
method only punishes the criminals themselves, after being released from prison, they may believe they have fulfilled their past obligations. As a result
, there is a high possibility that ex-prisoners
will recommit crimes
again. Take Indonesia, for example
; based on data released by the Indonesian Police Force, around 35 percent
of total Change the spelling
per cent
crimes
in Indonesia are committed by ex-prisoners
.
To alleviate the number of crimes
committed by ex-prisoners
, the government should punish not just the individuals who commit them, but also
their families. It might sound cruel, but China
demonstrates that this
method is very effective in preventing ex-prisoners
from redoing their crimes
. In China
, if individuals are sent to jail, their whole family
will suffer too because the Chinese government will restrict the prisoner's family's access to public healthcare and public transportation systems. Fix the agreement mistake
families
Therefore
, it is very rare to see ex-prisoners
in China
recommitting their crimes
again.
In conclusion, the growing trend where criminals redo their crimes
is because governments do not punish them enough. To tackle this
issue, governments should adopt what China
did, which is also
punishing the prisoners' families.Submitted by rahmanparentio on
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, it's important to fully address all parts of the prompt. The essay should discuss reasons why criminals continue to commit crimes after being punished and suggest measures beyond punitive ones for the criminals' families. Consider rehabilitative and preventive strategies that address root causes of criminal behavior.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance Coherence and Cohesion by organizing your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas, and ensure there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. Using connective words or phrases can help smooth the transition between ideas, making your argument more convincing.
Task Achievement
For a more complete Task Response, it is essential to critically evaluate the measures suggested and consider a wider range of solutions. The argument could benefit from a balanced view that considers the ethical implications of collective punishment and explores alternative strategies such as educational programs, community support, and rehabilitation services.
Task Achievement
To provide a richer argument and fulfill the task more effectively, offer examples from various contexts and cultures. This will demonstrate a broader understanding of the issue globally. Furthermore, ensure your essay reflects a balanced perspective by acknowledging potential downsides to the measures you propose and suggesting how they could be mitigated.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example