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Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
There are university students who support the idea of adding extra
subjects
 to their primary area of study,
while
 others prefer to focus entirely on the qualifications necessary for their chosen field. Both viewpoints have benefits , each presenting its own advantages and disadvantages. The following essay will examine these two views and share my perspective. Those who advocate for learning about other
subjects
 with their main subject believe that it provides them with a more well-rounded education. They argue that studying a variety of
subjects
 can help develop critical thinking skills, creativity and self-development.
For example
, a future scientist who specializes in a certain field, with the help of additional
subjects
, can increase his horizons.
Consequently
,
this
 will result in learning new skills and help in the process of becoming an excellent professional.
On the other hand
, some students believe that focusing exclusively on their main subject is more important for achieving success in their chosen career. They argue that dedicating all their time and attention to studying for a qualification allows them to become experts in their field and increases their chances of securing a job after graduation.
For instance
, medical students may feel that taking additional
subjects
 could distract them from their primary goal.
This
 particular action may result in a delay in progress towards obtaining their degree. In conclusion, the debate between focusing on one subject or choosing several depends on the goals and the possibilities of each person. For some, it will be better to study several
subjects
 at once for their future,
while
 for others it is enough to focus on their main ones.
However
, I believe that the benefits of attending additional lessons at a university are far more than being hyper-fixated on the main
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

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Example Depth and Relevance
To enhance your score further, try to develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This could involve drawing on case studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes that clearly illustrate the argument you're making.
Use of Linking Phrases
While you've done a great job of structuring your essay logically with a clear introduction and conclusion, aim to make better use of linking phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next. This will improve the overall cohesion of your text.
Addressing All Parts of the Task Fully
Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both views and your own opinion equally. Though you've touched upon your perspective, expanding on why you hold this view with more depth would boost your score in task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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