some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some
people
prefer activities and lifestyle in
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
show examples
climate
while
others prefer living in
cold
Add an article
a cold
show examples
climate
. I prefer to live in
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
climate
, because now I live in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Russia with
cold
Correct article usage
a cold
show examples
winter and hot summer. In winter
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
in my country drops to 40 degrees
while
in summer it reaches 40 degrees. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot
of different advantages and disadvantages of cold and hot climates. I will try to prove that
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
climate
is the best by making a few arguments. On the one hand, it’s cheaper to live in in country with a hot
climate
, because you shouldn’t
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
a
lot
of money on clothes and you need
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
clothes
while
in a cold
climate
Add a comma
climate,
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you need a
lot
of money that you spend on clothes.
Also
at a temperature of +40
degrees
Add a comma
degrees,
show examples
people
practically do not get sick and
therefore
don’t spend money on doctors.
On the other hand
, boiling hot
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
show examples
to constant headaches, since it is very difficult for
brain
Add an article
the brain
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to function at high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
. That’s why a
lot
of
people
prefer to live in North countries. We
also
mustn’t forget about
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
personal perception some
people
are used to living in a cold
climate
,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
prefer living in a hot
climate
.
To sum up
, I would like to say that based on the above arguments, we can conclude, that it’s best to live in a country with a balanced
climate
, since
this
type of
climate
mixes all the best qualities of cold and hot
climate
.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing both views equally before giving your opinion. This essay leans heavily towards discussing the benefits of a balanced climate without adequately exploring the positives and negatives of both hot and cold climates.
coherence and cohesion
A clearer structure would enhance your essay. Begin with an introduction that outlines what you will discuss, follow with separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and conclude by restating your stance succinctly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. While you mention general advantages and disadvantages, including more detailed examples can make your points more convincing and bring your essay to life.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and punctuation. Consistent errors can distract from your message. Consider using tools or seeking feedback to identify and correct these mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that signal the main idea to the reader, followed by explanations, examples, and a concluding sentence. This structure helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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